Christmas Wish
by Dark Angel's Blue Fire
Summary: Gibbs hates Christmas but this year he's getting the chance to turn his life around with a little help from Christmas Spirits of Old. A Kind of A Christmas Carol... Slash...
1. Chapter 1: A Visit From The Other Side

Hey everyone I actually hoped this fic would be finished by now but life is a little hectic right now.

So it won't be finished for Christmas Day but should be posted and complete one or two days afterwards... Hope you enjoy

**Disclainer: **Don't Own though I'd happily own Tony and the idea for this fic was taken from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.

**Warning: **Oh yeah, and it will be Slash of the **Gibbs/Tony **type so if this isn't your thing then turn back now...

Hope you like...

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Christmas Wish

Chapter One: Visit From The Other side

Christmas Eve dawned bright and clear the roads were not yet full as Washington DC sleepily woke to weak sunlight breaking over the horizon. It was a freezing morning and the forecasters were saying the snow would come in time for Christmas.

A Cliché if Gibbs had ever heard one. He was already on the road towards the office. Finding he hadn't been able to sleep much and even working on his boat had not settled Gibbs' restlessness the way it had before.

He pulled into his usual space in the car park and got out of the car. He moved towards NCIS with purpose and nodded to the security guard as he passed. He got in the elevator he expected to be the first to reach the office but as he rounded the corner he saw Tony DiNozzo his senior field agent already working intently.

"Morning Boss." Tony said without looking up. Gibbs frowned he prided himself on being able to sneak up on his team without them knowing. In this case he was either losing his touch or Tony was getting better. He suspected the latter the times he could surprise Tony were getting few and far between now.

"Early start DiNozzo." Gibbs said as he walked to his desk. "Always is when I'm On Call Boss." Tony said looking up from his computer. Gibbs nodded but said nothing else.

"I need Coffee." Gibbs said shortly before getting up to move. "The coffee in the break room miraculously tastes better. Maybe it's the Christmas Spirit." Tony laughed as Gibbs walked to the break room.

Gibbs had thought coming to the office early would make it easier but he'd forgotten that Tony was on call and if anything that made things ten times worse. Tony had been on his team almost five years, the longest anyone had stuck by him if he was truthful and being around Tony was getting more complicated everyday.

His lust, because that's what it was, for Tony was just getting more difficult to handle and it was almost as though just when it was getting out of control Tony was there to make it worse.

It was almost like he knew. This of course was ridiculous because Tony was as straight as they came, a different girlfriend every week and Gibbs wasn't so stupid to let that sort of feeling affect his work.

The Navy were not known for their tolerance, he'd worked enough hate crimes to know that and he'd been in the Navy to have seen what happened to some of the unlucky ones.

He took a big swig of the coffee and was surprised to see that Tony had been right not that he would admit that to Tony of course but it was nice to have proper coffee instead of a piss poor excuse for coffee.

As he returned he saw McGee and Abby who looked like they had just arrived speaking to Tony. "So you are coming right?" Abby asked bouncing with excitement.

"Well yeah, I mean I'm On Call and if by some miracle we all don't have a case then yeah I'll be there. You know I will." Abby's smile could have lit up her face but it was nothing compared to Tony's. That smile lit up the room and funnily enough it wasn't one you saw much.

McGee smiled at Tony. "It'll be fun Tony." Tony grinned. "Of course it will I'll be there." Abby hit him on the shoulder and McGee just seemed to roll his eyes good naturedly. Gibbs watched the interaction with interest. They were obviously planning something but what it was Gibbs wasn't sure and to be honest, since it didn't involve work it didn't truly interest him.

Though it was Christmas Eve and the decorations in the office gave away it was the festive time of year Gibbs wanted nothing to do with Christmas.

If he was truthful, Gibbs didn't see the point in Christmas it was just another day in the year. Another day that the shops managed to get a lot of money out of the public and once it was over, it was over! What was the big deal? He couldn't remember the last time he had thought about Christmas with the festive spirit that everyone else seemed too.

He looked round the office, it was decorated with tinsel and had a small but sparkling Christmas tree in the corner. If office rumour was to believed the office had Tony DiNozzo to thank for this. Gibbs snorted as he thought of his younger field agent, it was probably true. Tony had a childlike love of Christmas that Gibbs had never understood.

The phone hadn't rang since he had arrived and since Tony was sat calmly doing paperwork in between talking to McGee and Abby he guessed they had yet to have a case. Abby waved her goodbyes and went to the lab Gibbs thought she and McGee held hands longer than strictly necessary.

Gibbs shook his head. Talk about opposites attracting! Tony looked up as he re-entered with his coffee. "No case Boss." Tony reported and Ziva tore into the office wrapped up against the cold. "Then get the old case files out." Gibbs responded.

Tony said nothing just turned back to his computer screen and continued to work. The day went slowly with no new case but he could see Tony and McGee were pleased of it.

Gibbs looked up from his computer, he didn't understand how McGee could sit in front of it for hours at a time but he was getting a headache not that he would ever admit it.

He went to see Abby in the lab and could hear the music before he reached she was bouncing round to her music with a huge smile on her face. Gibbs shook his head but a small smile broke through.

He didn't even bother trying to talk to her over the music he went straight to the sound system and turned it off. "Hey!" Abby snapped as she spun round. "Oh. It's you Gibbs." "Hi Abby. What are you doing?"

"Getting into the Christmas Spirit Gibbs." Abby said happily, "It's really you should be doing too." Gibbs shook his head. "Christmas is just another day Abbs." He said quietly. Abby looked horrified. "How can you say that Gibbs? Christmas is a time to show people you care, giving presents because you can and not having to come up with a reason. I love Christmas!"

Gibbs smiled at her enthusiasm but he knew it would never be something he shared. "I'm pleased you'll enjoy it." He said warmly. He cared for Abby. Abby looked like she wanted to argue her point more but Gibbs knew she wouldn't.

As much as Abby loved him she didn't particularly challenge him. She took him at face value and her faith in him was indestructible and though he never said he made sure she knew a birthday present every year and praise and Caf-Pows seemed to do the trick.

He chatted with Abby reverting between Speech and Sign effortlessly before he left the lab to go back to his office. Ducky was in the office chatting to Ducky. "You know we love to see you Anthony. Do try and attend." He was saying. Tony's smile was soft.

"Of course I will. You know if nothing comes up I'll be there Ducky." "That's all I ask." He smiled. Ducky turned as Gibbs approached with yet another cup of coffee in his hand.

"Jethro I was just talking about plans for tomorrow you have plans again this year I trust?" Ducky asked but his gaze said something entirely different. The truth was that Ducky had asked Jethro every year since they had known each other to spend Christmas with him instead of being on his own.

When Gibbs had been married Katherine, Emma and Diane had made sure he made an effort but Christmas had never held much appeal for him.

"I always have plans Duck." Was all he said. Ducky nodded but Jethro could see he wasn't pleased with the answer. But well the answer had been the same since Diane had left him and had been the same before that. It wasn't going to change now.

The day progressed slowly although not quietly the constant banter between McGee, Tony and Ziva was so ingrained now that when it wasn't there it was strange.

Ziva was leaving early returning to Tel Aviv for a week for the holidays Gibbs wasn't sure whether she was happy about that or not but he saw her face light up when Tony tossed a small wrapped present in her direction.

"What's this Tony?" She asked. He laughed softly. "I would think a Mossad Spy like you Officer David would realise it's a Christmas Present." He turned said, "Head's Up Probie!" McGee turned and watched the small present sail towards him. He fumbled as he caught it but it stayed in his grasp and Tony pumped the air.

"Get better every time. Nice job Probie." Gibbs didn't miss how Tim's eyes seemed to glow. "Boss I'm just heading to see Abby." Before Gibbs could form an answer Tony rose lithely from his seat and jogged off towards the elevators and Gibbs watched him discreetly from behind his computer an hour later Tony reappeared and sat back down.

Soon it was five in the afternoon and Gibbs decided since no case had taken their tome we would let his team leave on time. His one gift to the team. McGee and Ziva didn't need telling twice.

Tony lagged behind saving whatever he was doing and then gathering his things together and then as soon as McGee and Ziva were out of sight he approached every year.

"So Ducky's hosting Christmas again this year." Tony said at last looking at Gibbs. "You gonna come Gibbs?" Gibbs thought he heard a hopeful note in the way Tony said it but he couldn't figure out why that would be.

"Got plans DiNozzo." Gibbs said. "You do every year." Tony pointed out. "But I think Ducky would appreciate your company more than your boat though the way you're going with this one you might actually finish it."

Jethro had to remember to school his features, he didn't know how Tony knew what he did every year although Tony was smart enough to take a guess Gibbs just hadn't thought Tony would have the balls to come out and say it. Although in hindsight he should have realised that Tony would.

"Ducky understands DiNozzo and I really don't think it has anything to do with you what I do with my time." "Never said it did Boss." Tony said quietly. "Just thought you might want a change this year. Season of Goodwill and everything. Guess I was wrong."

Tony turned to go and turned back, "Well I hope you have a nice Christmas whatever it is you do this year." And then he was gone and Gibbs stood and watched him leave before leaving himself.

The usual festive Christmas rubbish cluttered the TV channels, not that Gibbs actually watched much TV but he had been tempted while swallowing down his Bourbon, but had quickly become sickened and returned to the basement among his tools and started to work on his boat.

Sometime later, though Gibbs couldn't have said how long later he looked up as he heard a noise. He never locked the door but he'd lived in that house long enough to have scared the neighbours sufficiently and all knew he owned a gun.

He went to investigate retrieving his gun from the cabinet in the hall the sounds sounded like they were coming from the basement, like someone was having a hard time walking around.

He descended the stairs with the animal grace and cat like silence that the Marines had taught him and he had never bothered to forget. From his vantage point looking into the basement it was clear no one was there but his Gut was saying something different and he had learned to listen to that if nothing else.

He made it into the basement cautiously without a mishap. There was no one there though he felt like he was being watched. He began to cautiously let his guard down when he felt something behind him and spun to meet the challenge.

What he saw almost made him drop his gun in surprise. "Hello Gibbs." Caitlin "Kate" Todd said.

Gibbs prided himself on being able to be shocked by nothing but this, well this was different because Kate was dead. He'd been there. Watched her fall to the floor chased her killer and attended her funeral. Kate was dead yet she was stood in front of him.

She was still wearing her vest and pants and regarded Gibbs with a look Gibbs had often associated her using when profiling a suspect. "This isn't real." He whispered. "You're dead. I watched you die."

"Never said I wasn't Gibbs." Kate said pulling a hand through her hair. "But I'm here to help you." "Why would you want to help me? I killed you!" He yelled despite himself it was a guilt he had never quite been able to let go of.

"If you believe that then you're more of an idiot than I already believe you to be." She shook her head. "But that's not for me to say. I have a message for you." She said. Gibbs looked into her face saw the face he knew so well. The one that had died to young and almost asked her what she meant. Then sense overtook him.

"This isn't real." Gibbs said again turning away. He knew he was stressed he _hated _Christmas but this was ridiculous he had thought he had locked Kate's memories away again but evidently this wasn't the case.

Gibbs began to working on his boat taking a large mouthful of Bourbon before refilling it to numb the pain he could start to feel resurface. He started sanding his boat with enthusiasm trying to make his mind make Kate going away.

But Kate Todd had been nothing but stubborn and she was nothing less in Death and she wasn't going _anywhere _until she'd said what she had to say.

She continued to talk to Gibbs and though he made no indication of hearing her she knew he had. In the end though Kate became impatient what she had to say was important and he needed to listen but she didn't have all night to say it.

So she did the only thing she could she screamed, "GIBBS!"

Gibbs hadn't meant to he'd grown accustomed to Kate talking in the background but he spun as she yelled to find her in his face he instinctively went to push her away only to find that his hand sailed through her.

He gaped and Kate took advantage of his shock. "Gibbs I need you to listen and you need to listen now." She said firmly. Gibbs reflected that the tone she was using now she would have never dreamed use when she was alive.

"This is both a warning and a chance to have a fresh start. Don't make my mistake. Don't waste the life you have. Do not wish your life away and shut away those that love you."

Something in her tone had him captivated. Seeing that she had his attention Kate recklessly pressed on. "Tonight three Spirits will come to take you on a journey do not waste the knowledge and the lessons they wish to share with you."

Gibbs couldn't believe this was happening, it wasn't happening but Kate was still talking. "You have so much to live for in a life that is far from over yet could be taken from you in an instant. The life you have is so precious why do you waste it?"

"I don't waste my life!" Gibbs couldn't help but snap. He helped people. He had _saved _people.

"And what of your life Gibbs?" Kate asked softly. "You may have saved a stranger's life and there is nothing wrong with that, but what of your own? You've saved your own for later. What if there wasn't to be a later? What then?"

Gibbs could honestly say she didn't have an answer to that particular riddle. Instead he said, Why are you here?"

"I spent my last moments of life with you Gibbs so I'm here to give to a chance to live as I never did. I did the same. I never imagined there would never be a later and I don't want the same to happen to you." She smiled softly.

She looked at him. "For once in your life Marine suck-it up and listen I do not want you to miss out on the life you could have because you're too stubborn to see what's in front of your face."

She looked past him then. "I have to go. I pray you don't make my mistake Gibbs. Life is too short."

Then she was gone as suddenly as she had appeared and Gibbs shook his head deciding that he had had more Bourbon than he had thought and turned and settled to work on his boat some more.

He may not believe in ghosts but his own personal ghosts and demons were out in force. His hand moved more furiously on the wood as he thought about it.

Now he knew there was definitely a reason he _hated _Christmas! What was special about one day anyway? He couldn't wait until that one stupid day was over with and then he'd be able to forget for another year.

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Next Chapter Gibbs is faced with the ghosts and demons of Christmas' gone before... 


	2. Chapter 2: Christmas Past

Omg I can't believe how quickly I've managed to get this chapter up and out there! But i think its' because for the first time I actually know what I'm doing and where this is going hehehe

**Disclaimer: **I own Nothing... Not even the plot the idea was taken from A Christmas Carol and of course NCIS isn't mine though I wish Tony was...

**Warning: **Once again... This will be slash eventually...**of the Tony/Gibbs **type so if you don't like go find another ship to sail...

**Reviewers:**

**Rosebud26: **Thanx for the review! Here is the next chapter! Can't believe how quickly i finished this! WIth any look i should have Chapter three up later! Merry Christmas I hope you have a great one!

**Irreparabile Tempus: **Thanx for the review! Here is the next chapter! I thought using Kate would be a good idea I love her she had to be in there somewhere! lol. Here is the next chapter! Merry Christmas!

**Bookworm46: **Thanx for the review! I hope it shapes up very well i'm having fun writing it! More very soon! Here is the next chapter and hopefully chapter three should soon follow! Merry Christmas!

**Super Em: **Thanx for the review! I love Christmas so much and this was partly to help get me in the Christmas Spirit! Christmas fics are great to read at this time of year... and any time of year really! Merry Christmas!

To all those who are reading but haven't reviewed or have favourited me! Thank-you! And Merry Christmas here is the next chapter!

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Christmas Wish

Chapter Two: Christmas Past

Gibbs couldn't get Kate out of his head no matter how hard he tired and he had tried everything that often worked. He knew it was idiotic. She was dead, he'd seen her die but her words wouldn't stop ringing in his ears.

She wasn't real but she had promised that her visit wouldn't be the last of the night and though he didn't believe it, he couldn't help but glance around the basement as he worked and listened the radio as it crackled away playing Christmas songs that by Christmas Eve had been vastly over played.

Suddenly the dark basement was lit up in an eerie glow that seemed to drown out all the noise and the small light that Gibbs had left on in the hallway upstairs.

Gibbs spun round shielding his eyes against the glare. "Whose there!" He demanded. "Show yourself!" His gun was out in front again as the glare from brightness of the light began to fade.

In the light's place stood a figure. She was beautiful dressed in a simple shift with dark hair and bright blue eyes.

"Who are you?" Gibbs demanded.

"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past." She said in a voice that sounded like ringing bells. "I've come here for you. For your sake." "Yeah well don't you think leaving me here will be for my sake, I don't believe in ghosts."

His gun had gone slack in his hand but he didn't lower it. He wasn't sure that he wasn't out of danger yet. He hadn't learned to be a sniper but trusting easily.

The Ghost of Christmas Past said nothing. She just regarded him quietly before she said, "This is about you reclaiming your life. You will take heed!"

Then she touched his hand and Gibbs dropped his gun in shock and it clattered to the floor. An icy blast tore through his body but nothing else in the room moved Gibbs stared at Christmas Past in shock.

Her hair blew in the wind and her eyes were alive with a fire that wasn't human and power and wisdom of more years that Gibbs could ever hope to have in his life.

"You will come with me Leroy Jethro Gibbs." She said in her voice of ringing her bells. She pulled on his hand and he felt himself lifting off the floor and for the first time that night he truly felt fear.

"You have nothing to fear Jethro Gibbs." She said and closed her eyes.

Her touch was icy to his hand but he didn't dare let go for what he thought would happen. He found himself in the middle of a maelstrom of images that made his head spin.

The images were strong enough to get glimpses but nothing more than that. Nothing vivid enough for him to grasp. He wanted to see more to stop his head from spinning but they rushed past him in a blur of colour and sound until he closed his eyes to stop the rush.

When he opened his eyes again he was stood in a brightly lit living room decorated with hanging decoration from the ceiling tinsel decorated the picture frames and there was a tall tree stood in the corner with a fairy sat on top looking down on the room.

It was familiar to Gibbs but he wondered why he was stood here now. At that moment a small woman with sliver hair and quick blue eyes, so like his own, came in the room carrying a tray of cookies.

Her eyes were stained with tears but she wiped them away before shouting, "Jethro!" "Grandmother?" Gibbs asked confused.

"She cannot see or hear you Leroy Jethro Gibbs these are shades of the past and we are here simply to observe what they have to show us." She pointed back to the scene.

At that moment a little boy with a shock of dark hair and excited blue eyes came tumbling into the room. Gibbs closed his eyes. He knew what happened next he'd been six.

"Cookies!" He shouted excited. He watched as his grandmother smiled and said, "White Chocolate Chip. Just the way you like them." His six year old self smiled and launched himself at the tray."

"Have you left the gifts for Santa?" his grandmother asked.

Gibbs smiled despite himself. Marie Gibbs was reached five foot if she stood on her tip toes but she had been tough as nails and she had been the biggest influence in his life. She'd had hardships in her life but that didn't stop her raising Jethro to be the man he'd become. She'd essentially raised him after this Christmas.

"I have Grandma." Little Jethro said his blue eyes twinkling with excitement. Then let's put them by the chimney so that he can reach them when he comes tonight." Little Jethro nodded and sped out the room again and returned carrying a glass of Sherry carefully and holding a carrot.

"For the reindeer." Jethro said. Marie Gibbs couldn't keep a tear from falling from her face. "What a good idea Jethro let's leave them here." She gathered little Jethro into her arms and the little Jethro didn't see the tears falling down her face.

But the older Jethro did. He'd forgotten how much he hated seeing his grandmother in pain. He couldn't imagine how hard that Christmas Eve must have been for her.

At that moment there was a scream of grief and a woman tore into the room. She had long blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes was tall and slender and her lovely face was a picture of grief.

"Marie, tell me it isn't true!" She screamed she had a letter scrunched in her hand. Marie let go of little Jethro. "You know it is Katy." She said softly. "I know it hurts but you've got your son to think of. Do not ruin this Christmas for him. He is only little."

"My Christmas is ruined why should his be any different!" Katy screamed. "Katy!" Marie said softly. "I know it hurts. But do not take your pain and anger out on Jethro."

Katy Gibbs seemed to deflate and older Jethro looked on the face of his mother. Now he understood her pain but then, all he wanted to do was stop her crying he didn't understand why she had been crying.

"Mommy?" Little Jethro asked.

"Why are you crying?" Katy had sunk into the sofa and started sobbing little Jethro toddled over and got in her lap. "Please Mommy. Don't cry. Santa is coming and he will leave you presents and it will make you feel better!"

Instead of stopping crying that only seemed to make her worse. Marie watched her own tears quiet and dignified.

Little Jethro's eyes lit up. "I know! Mommy wait here." He disappeared five minutes later he came running back in the living room holding a picture. "Look Mommy. I made this for Daddy."

His picture had been a simple one and the older Jethro remembered that it had taken him hours to draw out the simple picture of his grandmother, mother and father and him holding hands.

He looked at his mother. "Mommy please don't cry. Daddy will be home soon. He won't like you crying. Not when Santa is coming." Katy Gibbs seemed to wail then and looked at her son.

"Jethro it's time you grew up. Santa isn't real. Your father isn't coming home. He's left me. He left me!" She started sobbing and ran from the room. Leaving little Jethro stunned and close to tears wondering what he could have possibly done to make his mother so mad.

Older Gibbs closed his eyes. He didn't blame his mother for lashing out in her pain. He hadn't understood then but his father had been a Marine and had been killed that Christmas in combat. Now Gibbs understood her pain but then he had felt like his world had fell away.

The Older Gibbs turned to the Spirit of Christmas Past. "She had just lost my father, it hurt. We were all hurting I understood that." He said. Past said nothing her focus on Marie and Jethro.

Marie Gibbs looked scandalised as she pulled her grandson into her lap. "Santa will still come." She said softly. "Daddy's gone to be with the angels Jethro. Now I need you to be brave for your mother. She misses your Daddy and didn't mean to yell at you."

"I only wanted to make her feel better." Little Jethro cried clutching his grandmother's shirt. "I know my baby, I know." Little Jethro cried while Marie Gibbs held him all thoughts of Santa and the next day forgotten.

Jethro turned away from the scene hurt. But with a renewed sense of love for his grandmother long gone but not forgotten. "My grandmother raised me after that." He said softly. "I never really understood."

"Let us see another Christmas Past in this place." Past said taking his hand and leading him away.

"I don't think I want to." Jethro said quietly.

When they stopped again Gibbs felt bile rise in his throat. The room was empty but he knew where he was. He was in his house. The house he had never wanted to see again.

The tree sparkled innocently in the corner and pictures of Gibbs sat on the mantelpiece with pictures of a beautiful red head and a little girl with dark hair and green eyes laughing between them.

At that moment an adult Gibbs burst into the room. His hair was dark with a few strands of sliver but his eyes held pain grief and fury as he paced the room like a caged animal.

Then without warning he spun round and punched the wall. That triggered a wave of fury and he then trashed the whole room. the older Gibbs had to turn away the rage and pain from that day was still fresh.

When he turned back the younger Gibbs was sat on the floor tears falling down his face. Looking at a picture of his life and child, the wife and child he had just learned that he had lost.

The Christmas Shannon and Kelly had been killed was the first in four that he was going to be able to share with them. Kelly had just turned eight and he'd put lots of thought into what he was going to buy both his wife and child for Christmas.

He knew he wouldn't have much time to buy them he was hitting US soil on the 24th so he had gone straight to the Mall to buy Shannon an eternity ring, the last she needed to complete her collection. They'd been married almost ten years but she had always said she'd never seen one she liked. But Gibbs had found the perfect one.

He had then gone and bought Kelly her present. Kelly, his little girl, had been the light of his and Shannon's life and she'd loved playing with his dog tags when he was home. So he'd bought her a St. Christopher and her own little set of Dog tags so that they could match.

He'd ended up burying Shannon with her ring and Kelly with her St. Christopher and dog tags. Never getting to see their faces when they opened them.

The older Jethro turned away tears threatening to fall for the first time in years. "Why did you make me see this?"

"Are you trying to cause me pain?" Jethro yelled. "Are you that Sadistic!" Jethro had thought he had buried his pain but he felt like his heart was dying now.

"Because it's working!" He blinked rapidly he would not let the tears that had threatened to fall, fall.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs I have no control over the Shadows and Ghosts that have remained in your life for so long. Do not blame me for they do exist I only show those that are there."

Jethro felt all his pain, guilt and anguish rise up in him and he looked at the Christmas Spirit. "Leave! I'll see no more! I want nothing more to do with this! Leave!"

"GET AWAY!" He roared and then suddenly he was falling and falling.

When he opened his eyes he was back in his basement. He opened his eyes and then remembered what he had seen, and all the pain and anguish filled his heart.

Then he felt bile rising in his throat as he took the stairs three at a time to reach the toilet in time before his body gave into the impulse and he vomited. When he was finished he slid to the floor and punched the wall.

But it did nothing for the memories now circling in his head.

Now he remembered clearly why he really, _really _hated Christmas. And nothing was ever going to change his mind. He didn't care what a damn ghost had to say about it.

He officially _hated _Christmas!

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Next Christmas Past comes to Visit how will Gibbs fair then? Hold on to find out! 


	3. Chapter 3: Christmas Present

OMG I can't believe how quickly this chapter was up! Although now this will be the last one til at least Boxing Day though you never know the way this is going I might get another one up later in the day!

MERRY CHIRSTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

**Disclaimer: **As I've said before not mine though if Tony was sold into slavery I would be the first to stake a claim.

**Warning: **This is Slash people. of the Gibbs/Tony type slash if this bothers you jump Ship and find another.

**Reviewers:**

**Irreparabile Tempus: **Thanx for the review! I have to say you were impressively fast. I know I've always felt sympathy for those that find Christmas hard because of loss I mention this later in the chapter. Next one already in the process of being Written I must say I'm impressed with myself this is scary. lol. Hope you like.

**Bookworm45: **Thanx for the review! I know Gibbs does have reason to hate Christmas but there are reasons to love it as well and maybe he will start to realise this soon. I hope you like!

**SparklingCatsEye: **Thanx for the reivew! This has to be the fastest update I've ever made but i hope you like. Next chapter shouldn't be too long read on!

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Christmas Wish

Chapter Three: Christmas Present

Gibbs stayed in the bathroom until he thought that his legs would be strong enough to let him stand. He pushed himself up from the floor and headed back downstairs intent on pummelling something, or working on the boat he needed to get rid of some of the aggravation.

He saw his little girl, as he last remembered her sat on the top of his then outlined boat watching as he put pieces of the wood in place. He shut that memory down as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He couldn't deal with this now.

He stopped when he realised the living room light was on. He'd switched it off when he had been aimlessly staring at the TV before Kate's timely arrival.

But now the light was on and he could hear the Christmas Cheer coming from his living room which was also odd because Gibbs never had the TV loud if he had it on at all.

The door was also closed and he knew for definite that he hadn't closed the door. He glared at it and listened he could only hear the music from the TV but he knew that he hadn't closed the door. His gun was still in the basement and he wasn't sure whether he should go and get it.

Then he decided that, that idea was stupid. He was a Marine he could defend himself without an aid of a gun. If needed he could speak, move and kill in silence. Once he had decided he had no need of his gun he squared his shoulders, adopted a guarded position and opened the door.

There was someone inside he was sat on Gibbs' sofa watching the TV. When Gibbs came in he stood up. He was as tall as Gibbs and his shoulders were broad but he must have had at least thirty pounds on Gibbs' own weight.

His hair was long and blonde with tints of red in it as the light hit it with startling green eyes.

Eyes that Gibbs thought looked familiar though he couldn't think why.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs." He said bowing in welcome. "I have been waiting for you." "Who are you?" Gibbs said guarded.

"Me? Well! I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present!" He boomed and it almost sounded as though he was insulted Gibbs hadn't realised who he was.

"Your entrance was almost ordinary."

Gibbs observed though still guarded. He couldn't believe he was having a conversation with a ghost! He didn't believe in them! But no matter what he thought that didn't seem to stop the ghosts from appearing and the raw memories proved that whether this was real or not, they had clearly sort Gibbs for a reason.

"I show the life as it is now." Present shrugged.

"I come as I am to show you things as they are. Things you would see yourself if only you dared to look." Gibbs shrugged.

"Christmas is just another day in the year." He looked at Present. "It doesn't stop Human Nature's ability to kill and people take advantage of the good on publicised holidays such as this one."

Present sighed and said, "I see I have much to do with Leroy Jethro Gibbs." He said softly. "So much to do and not nearly enough time. You must come now."

Present touched his hand and again Gibbs felt that odd feeling in his stomach as he rose in the air and Present lead him out of his living room and out of the house into the street.

It was daylight now, Christmas Day had dawned without Gibbs even realising it. It looked like the weatherman had been right. It had snowed. Snow on Christmas Day Gibbs couldn't remember the last time it had snowed.

He watched as Children who had been so excited for Christmas were already out with their parents, building snowmen, snow angels and using their sleds in the snow.

Their parents joined them and the air was filled with delighted laughter and a flurry of snow as snow balls were hurled from one person to another. Gibbs watched it all with a sense of wonder.

"Come." Present said taking his arm.

The next thing he knew he was standing in the middle of what looked like a children's centre. He recognised it as Oldman's. They sheltered orphaned and unwanted kids until the kids could be fostered or they could be adopted. It was one of the best centres of it's kind and looking round he could see why.

The kids were playing happily running round and screaming and playing with presents. Paper littered the floor and the older teens ran round after the younger ones trying to get them to play party games.

At that moment the door burst open and the kids turned round and screamed. "TONY!"

Gibbs whipped round to see Tony DiNozzo stride in the door with a sack over his shoulder. "Hey kids!" He laughed as they surrounded him. "I hope Santa came to see you all last night." They all nodded eagerly.

"I got a fire truck!" One yelled while another yelled. "I got _Lion _King" One of the girls shyly told Tony that Santa had bought her some new skipping ropes."

"We have to watch the _Lion King Tom!_" Tony said enthusiastically. "And play with your firetruck Jason and of course I'll teach you to skip double Dutch Cora." The little girl smiled as Tony smiled at her. He chuckled.

At that moment another girl came in. "Tony!" "Andrea my darling!" Tony bowed and kissed her hand. "I come bearing gifts!" He said gallantly. "Dig in Kids find the one that's yours."

He put the sack down and the kids dived for them. "You brought presents for them all?" Andrea asked her eyes wide. "Of course I did!" Tony looked scandalised. "They can't not have something to open. Besides I love them all. Besides I didn't buy all these some of the people I know helped." "Tony there are thirty children still here over the holidays this year."

"So?" Tony said shrugging. "What's money if not to spend it. Besides I never had Christmases like this. I love spending time with them."

Gibbs frowned. What the hell did Tony mean he hadn't had a Christmas before? Of course he must have… He knew Tony had never really gotten on with his family but surely…

His thinking was interrupted as Tony drew Andrea aside and said, "I know Donna, Ethan and Jamie are coming back tomorrow their presents are in the car I'll give you them before I go."

Andrea shook her head but said nothing else. "So are you going to your friend's again this year?" "Yeah. Well if I don't get called into work. I'm the agent on Call. So if I have to go I'm sorry…"

Andrea stopped him by putting her hand on his face. "Tony stop. The kids just love it when you're here. Stay as long as you can or as long as you want." Tony's smiles was one Gibbs had only seen once, one that completely should have short circuited the room.

Gibbs felt jealous that this girl he didn't know was the recipient and not him. Then Andrea smirked and said, "So an particular reason you going to this party?" Her eyes were twinkling as she said this.

"Yeah I've got friends." Tony quipped and then sobered up. "But Gibbs isn't going. He's such a scrooge. Though I feel bad for saying that because I get the feeling Christmas might be painful for him."

"How do you know?" Andrea asked quietly. "He gets this look sometimes…" Tony looked like he was struggling to explain it. "I watch him more closely than I should I'm surprised I haven't been caught yet. But, he gets this look sometimes, like the one I probably get when I think of Caleb."

"Christmas is a difficult time for anyone loosing a loved one." Andrea said. "And my sympathies to anyone that has. Including you babe." Tony nodded looking down.

Gibbs' heart stopped. No. No. That just wasn't right. Tony was not allowed to know the pain of loosing someone. Especially at Christmas. Tony was meant to be happy and loud and…

"I remember Caleb as he was." He said softly. "And I knew him better than most. He always made the biggest fuss at Christmas. It's only fair that I carry on the tradition.

Andrea reached for Tony and pulled him into a hug. "Your other half was so different yet so much the same but he was always proud of you. I don't think that will have changed. He'd never want you to loose the Christmas Spirit you both loved when he was alive."

Gibbs stared. Tony had lost someone? Someone he… he maybe loved? How had Gibbs not known this? Even if it wasn't in his file he should have known this. But then Tony didn't know about Shannon and Kelly so why should he know about Caleb.

Trust went two ways and while he trusted Tony without question in matters hat concerned the job he'd never once mentioned his personal life so why should Tony be any different?

Tony nodded. "I know." Andrea smiled and grabbed Tony crushing him into a hug. "So it's such a shame this Gibbs isn't going today I was going to give you mistletoe to put to good use." She winked.

"I know how much you would like the opportunity." Gibbs coughed choking as he looked at Tony's face that had suddenly gone very red. "Angel!" he hissed.

"What? Anyone would want to. That photo you showed me? Hell he's hot." Tony if possible had gone more red and Gibbs was trying to figure out if this was some sort of wind up but Tony only seemed sincere.

"It's never going to happen." Tony said finally. "He's straight and even if he wasn't he's too good for me."

Again Gibbs choked watching this. Him? Too good for Tony? That would be the day.

Andrea looked at Tony and said, "You have a good heart Tony DiNozzo do not let anyone tell you differently." Despite not knowing her Gibbs was getting the feeling that he could really get to like this Andrea.

"I'd love you to tell the guys at the office that! They'd never believe you."

"Well I believe it and that's all that really matters." Andrea said hugging Tony again, "It's okay to love again. Somehow if I knew Caleb at all he'd have wanted that."

Gibbs felt on the verge of a heart attack Tony _loved _him? He'd given up on love how was it that Tony, the man he trusted most in the world loved him and he had not been able to so see?

"Caleb and I would have been together forever if we'd have the chance." Tony said softly. "I loved him and I still do." Gibbs felt his heart skip at the pain in Tony's voice. "But we always promised each other that we would move on, heal. In a strange way Gibbs helped me do that. He gave me focus, made me a better investigator. And somewhere along the way I fell."

The smile Tony had in his face then was nothing short of magical and Gibbs wished he had a camera, that one he wanted on Tony's face always. Or maybe he only wanted it directed at him.

Tony and Andrea talked some more about how they were going to keep the kids entertained before the kids who had been sharing their presents and spread the word that Tony had brought gifts started to demand his time.

"Tony come play with us!" They yelled.

Tony smiled and joined the fray with abandon while his friend Andrea watched with a smile on her face.

Tony looked so happy his long, lean frame in jeans and a t-shirt running around after the kids. And god did he look good his eyes were dancing with laugher and his voice carried as he caught all the kids and made them play. He'd left no one out everyone seemed to have a present and he seemed to know every kid by name.

Christmas Present broke the spell by touching his arm. "It is time to see more Leroy Jethro Gibbs." He said softly.

Gibbs left reluctantly. He didn't want to leave Tony but he followed Present anyway.

"I never knew he felt that way about me." Gibbs said almost in awe. "All this time and I didn't have a clue."

"Your heart was been closed to love because of the traumas of your past. It is not a bad thing to want the pain to go away but it is when it means you do not live the life you have." Christmas Present paused and swept his hand around the square.

"You do so much good in the world you live in. So much good to make it safe for other people and you have seen so much evil but I see no evil here Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

He let Gibbs take in the people laughing and joking and enjoying themselves. "Christmas is a time of forgiveness, love and happiness it is one of the finest times for humans. You only have to open your heart and open your eyes to see it."

Gibbs followed him through Washington until he recognised the house he was stood in front of. "This is Ducky's house." Gibbs said in surprise.

Christmas Present nodded. "There is still things to see Leroy Jethro Gibbs my time with you is not yet over." They moved into the house unseen by all those that were inside and there were a few people inside. Gibbs had never seen as many people in there all the time he and Ducky had been friends although if he was honest he had avoided times like this when Ducky had gathered people together.

Ducky was in the kitchen with his mother and her corgi's Abby and McGee were setting the table. Gibbs was surprised to see Gerald there, although he shouldn't have been because he suspected Ducky and Gerald's relationship wasn't purely platonic.

Jimmy Palmer was there with his girlfriend Michelle Lee. They had kept their affair low key at work and Gibbs had approved of that but whatever they did outside had nothing to do with him.

Abby bounced into the kitchen. "How long before the fun starts Ducky?" Abby asked. "Not until Anthony gets here." Ducky said firmly. "I had his word when I rang him this morning that he would be arriving if a little late. He hadn't yet caught a case."

Abby smiled. "Tony always takes the Christmas On Call. I think he's a lucky charm. Every Christmas we've had no case and we've been on call we've never had to go in." Everyone nodded.

At that moment the door opened. "Hey honey I'm home!" Tony's voice filtered down the hallway. Abby squealed and launched herself at Tony as he came in he caught her and hugged her as she wrapped her arms and legs around his waist.

Gibbs watched this in amazement as Tony spun Abby round before putting her down again. "Hey Abbs, he said happily you miss me?" "Of course I did Tony you're always late."

"Places to go people to see." Tony said breezily his eyes alight though he didn't elaborate. "Are we ever going to find out where you spend your time at Christmas Anthony?" Ducky said in good humour.

"Oh leave him alone Duck." Gerald said wrapping his arm around Tony's shoulders. "Whatever it is, knowing Tony he's spreading his Christmas Cheer." Gerald smiled at his friend.

"It's Christmas!" Tony said scandalised "Everyone needs a bit of Christmas cheer. Speaking of which did Gibbs appear." McGee came in and shook his head. "No Tony. I'm sure you put up a good fight this year but no. He's obviously busy."

Tony sighed. "Oh well I'll leave his present on his desk." He put a small package wrapped in red paper down on the side. "Okay guys what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"

Gibbs stared. He looked at the present placed on the side it was wrapped in shiny blue paper with blue stars, not a big gift but Gibbs had never realised Tony had ever bothered to buy him one. Although in hindsight he should have. He shook his head and processed the next piece of the puzzle.

How could it be that no one knew how Tony had spent his Christmas? Why hadn't Tony told them? He had done such a good job with the kids it was a job that surely someone knew about it but it appeared it was another secret to the elusive Tony DiNozzo.

Everyone helped with the dinner preparations and soon they were sitting down to enjoy the traditional Christmas lunch. The team were laughing and joking and having a generally nice time and for the first time in a long time Gibbs felt isolated in the life he had given himself.

"I wish I had gone now." He said softly.

At that moment Tony lifted his glass and said, "Merry Christmas Gibbs." Gibbs spun round. "Tony?" He whispered "Can you see me?"

"Merry Christmas Gibbs!" The table chorused. "To friends both absent and lost!" Gerald toasted and the table followed suit.

"You have many friends that care deeply for you Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Christmas present said softly. Gibbs should have known this, he himself thought of NCIS as his own very dysfunctional but still very close knit family.

He just realised as he watched them that they probably didn't know that he held them in such high regard. Particularly Tony. He realised as he watched the younger agent laughing with Jimmy and Tim that he had probably rode Tony's ass harder than anyone else he had worked with. He wanted the best out of Tony and Tony had never complained and always upped his game meeting the challenge that Gibbs set on a daily basis.

He realised then that the reason he was so hard on Tony was because he always wanted him close. He wanted a reason for Tony to be at his side, where he belonged.

He had thought that he was keeping Tony at arms length and that he would never be hurt again when in actual fact it had already been too late. Tony had crawled under his skin and was apparently there to stay. Gibbs decided in that moment that he really didn't want it any other way.

Now he needed to make sure Tony knew that.

He watched the festivities for a moment longer before Present nodded at Gibbs and said, "Our time here is over we must leave." Gibbs nodded knowing he really didn't have a choice but really not wanting to move.

As the house faded out the last thing he saw was Tony's laughing face it was a look of such wonder Gibbs knew it was going to stick with him for a long time after this was over.

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Next time Gibbs Visits Christmas yet to come and things are not as they seem...

Merry Christmas to all readers and Reviewers (And other holidays that are celebrated I wouldn't like to think I'm missing you out) Have a great holiday! See you next time!


	4. Chapter 4: Christmas Future

Hey everyone yet another chapter! I am on a roll. Only one left although maybe two i'll see how i end up at the end of chapter five as to whether i do another chapter following that.

**Disclaimer: **All I want for Christmas is Tony DiNozzo...

**Warning: Tony/Gibbs type slash don't like don't read you have been warned!**

**Reviewers:**

**Super Em: **Thanx for the reviews for both chapters 2 and 3 I must have just posted as you reviewed I'm pleased your enjoying it. I'm hoping to have it finished in the next few days.

**Lillith: **Thanx for the review! I'm pleased you like it!

**Cherokee Jedi: **Thanx for the review! Someone giving Gibbs a swift kick is what inspired this story lol Merry Christmas I'm pleased you like the story!

**Don't Touch: **Thanx for the reviews! Pleased you like! Here's the next chapter!

**

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**Christmas Wish

Chapter Four: Christmas Yet To Come

Gibbs followed Christmas present back out into the street and now that the main event of Christmas over he saw more children and people out and about. The festivities left Gibbs feeling a little in awe he usually missed all this in favour of staying indoors working on his boat.

"I usually work through all of this." Gibbs said in wonder, whether he had been working at NCIS or working on his boat it hadn't mattered he'd missed this.

"I see no evil here Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Present swept his arms around the snowy streets his great booming laugh echoing as he watched the people who were outside playing in the snow.

Gibbs watched as a couple staggered out of a bar having obviously celebrated Christmas in style. On the street, on the corner waiting outside the bar but a safe way away from the road a blind man stood holding a charity box and his golden retriever, his guard dog had wrapped itself around their owner to keep him warm.

He stood quietly a serene look on his face the couple Gibbs had watched leave the bar reach into their pockets and give graciously chatting to the blind man with smiles on their faces accepting the stickers he offered them before moving on chatting amongst themselves.

Gibbs couldn't stop a smile breaking through at the sight. Maybe his job had blinded him to all the good in the world of late. He just so many bad things in his job it was so easy to forget the good. It obviously still existed. He felt his heart lift at the thought.

"My time with you is over Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Christmas Present said softly as he reached the end of the block.

Jethro looked at the ghost. "Do you really have to leave? I was starting to find my Christmas Spirit again." Present smiled but nodded. "I am pleased Leroy Jethro Gibbs but it is time for me to leave. Perhaps you will take heed of all you have seen here today."

Present offered a small wave and then walked away into the crowd. Gibbs frowned. He didn't seem to be going anywhere but it was obvious that the people enjoying the Christmas cheer were still as blind to him as they had been when he was with Christmas Present.

He watched for a moment before he felt a hand on his arm. He spun and stared at the figure that stood in front of him. The figure was as tall as he was and wrapped in a black cloak. His body and face were covered but Gibbs felt pinned by it's stare.

"Who are you?" He gasped.

He felt like he had been showered in a bucket of icy water at the Spirit's touch.

"I am the Ghost of Christmases yet to come." The Spirit rasped out from underneath the cloak. "Come."

The Spirit led Gibbs through the people until they became obscured by the sudden fog that surrounded Gibbs. "What's happening?" He asked the spirit. "We are moving from one moment to another." It said in the same no nonsense tone with a voice so cold Gibbs felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

The fog thickened until Gibbs wasn't sure which way he was going and which way he would have to go to get back home. The Spirit reached out suddenly and grasped his arm pulling him forward.

Gibbs felt his stomach jump as his feet left the floor. His senses failed him as he could no longer tell which direction he was moving in until suddenly the fog cleared and Gibbs realised he was stood outside NCIS.

"You did all that just to bring me here?" Gibbs asked pulling from the spirits grip. "Come with me." The spirit said as it walked into the NCIS building.

Gibbs followed feeling dread but he couldn't be sure why. The Spirit led him to his floor where he was shocked to see Ziva David speaking quietly to director Jen Sheppard.

Gibbs noticed that they both looked considerably older. Jen's vivid read hair was now streaked with grey and there were more lines round her face. Ziva's hair was also showing signs of grey. But it was her facial expressions that downright shook Gibbs to the core.

It looked like she was on the verge of breaking down and pain so deep Gibbs felt bile rise in his throat in sympathy. "I can't believe he didn't tell us." Ziva was saying as she lost her battle with tears.

She swiped at them angrily. "When I first started here 7 years ago I would never have imagined that I would be crying over a team member but he got under my skin."

Jen nodded wiping one tear with a quiet dignity that Gibbs had always admired about her. "I know what you mean." She said quietly. "He's proved us all wrong again and again and we let him down."

"But why didn't he tell us? Didn't he trust us? Did he think we would have let that happen to him?" Ziva demanded. "He always had a way of dealing with things himself and trying to keep people safe even if it wasn't always apparent." Jen said.

Suddenly Gibbs found himself in the lab Ducky, Tim, Jimmy, Gerald, Abby and Michelle Lee were congregated there. Abby was openly sobbing and Gerald and Tim were holding her up.

The music was absent and instead the pain and despair was the only sounds in the otherwise deafening silence. Gibbs had always hid it well but he had always hated bringing bad news to relatives, he hated giving them pain and having no way to make it better for them.

Seeing his friends, his family in that much pain almost undid him. "Ducky please tell me you can hear me!" He said desperately. "They cannot hear you Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Future said, the hood turned to look at Gibbs.

"You are here to watch, nothing else you cannot change the outcome of this place no matter how much you may want too." Gibbs nodded. He knew that really. He just hated only being able to watch.

He had never in his whole life been able to sit and do nothing when something could have been done and that instinct to do something; anything was so strong it almost choked him.

"Why did he leave us?" Abby cried burying her head in Tim's shoulder. Her usually perfect make up was smudged and her eyes were red. "He fought as hard as he could." Jimmy said holding Michelle who cried quietly.

"No one fought harder than he did to give us everything he could." Gerald said. There was an edge to his voice Gibbs had never heard before. They all looked older than their years and no more than Ducky.

"We would do him an injustice if we did not use that evidence he fought to give us to catch the bastard that did that to him. I will not rest until they are caught and I will not trust another team to do it for us."

Abby looked up and snarled then, "They can try." She pushed gently away from Tim. "I can't believe how much we let him down. The signs were all there. I know him best other than you Ducky how did we miss it?"

"He was always amazing at deflecting questions and making us look the other way I would never say that as an excuse I should have realised but I've accepted that if there was something he didn't want me to know. I would have never known it. Now all that there is left is to honour the memory we have of him."

Gibbs had a sick feeling in his stomach. Had they lost another agent? He assumed so and the way they were talking he could assume it was him. He'd obviously gone and done something stupid and not let them in on his plan and it had finally backfired on him.

He looked at them all and was truly sorry that he had caused them pain. He realised then that if this ever ended he would let them all know how much they all meant to him. He'd had enough of hiding in the dark.

At that moment the Spirit pulled on his arm and said, "It is time to leave Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Gibbs turned to follow and suddenly he was in a cemetery.

The last time Gibbs had been in a cemetery he had buried Kate. The time before that he had buried Kelly and Shannon. He had never been back to see any of his families graves. Seeing their grave would not bring them back and talking to a headstone was not the same.

A cemetery was for the living not the dead and since Gibbs had tried to bury his pain as deeply as he could he didn't think visiting the headstones of his dead family would be beneficial.

He saw a man praying at a headstone over to his left and sighed. Marie had brought him up to be fair and just with her teachings based loosely in the religion she had held dear.

He had once believed but he had stopped believing when Shannon and Kelly had died. What God let the parents bury their children? It was something he had given up trying to figure out but the question had made him loose his faith.

He looked ahead and spotted a newly turned patch of earth. A recent service with flowers and a marker. The headstone would not come until the ground had settled properly.

He sighed and looked at the Spirit.

"I know. It's me." He said softly. "I'll change. I've been taking things too much for granted. I've taken my family for granted. Please just give me that chance." Gibbs said quietly.

"You have not seen everything there is to see yet." Future said simply. He turned towards the cemetery and Gibbs was forced to do the same.

He almost choked as he watched an aged version of himself walk up to the grave side. The older Gibbs was wrapped in a coat and his face was drawn with pain and suffering the younger Gibbs couldn't help notice that his hair was now so sliver it looked almost white in the weak sunlight.

"But if I'm here then who…" Gibbs trailed off with his heart in his voice. "No!" He yelled and ran to where his older self had knelt on the earth almost completely defeated.

"I'm sorry I'm late." The older Gibbs said softly. "I know I wasn't at your service but I couldn't bare to be there. But I couldn't not come at all. How could I stand there when I knew that only if I had looked hard enough this would have never happened." He shook his head.

"Tony, why? Why did you never tell me?"

The younger Gibbs stopped dead when his older self said the words he had been dreading. "No." He whispered. "This is not how it's meant to work!" He spun to meet the face of Christmas Future.

"It was meant to be me." "No one had said your name Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Future said simply.

He was about to argue but his older self started to sob brokenly and Gibbs tore his gaze away from Christmas future to watch his heart dying with every second he spent in this place.

"How could you let this happen to you? How could you keep this a secret? How could you not tell me you loved me?" The older Gibbs finally broke down and the tears fell hard and fast.

"If only you had said and then maybe we would not be in this place. I can't live without you Tony. I can't be at NCIS the place I failed you. I resigned for good this time. I only had a few years left and I would have had to leave active field duty anyway. But I can't be there when you won't be."

"If you'd told me we would have been together. I would have protected you. how did you not see that, that was why I made you stay on my team? I needed you where I could see you. Where I could protect you. And even that wasn't enough. Oh God Tony I'm so sorry."

"So you're Gibbs." A voice said. The younger Jethro recognised that voice even as his older self spun round.

"Who are you?" Gibbs demanded. "My name is Andrea Costa." Andrea said softly. "Tony is," Andrea closed her eyes, "Was my best friend. So are you?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah I was his supervisor at NCIS." "And the love of his life." Andrea said bluntly. Both Gibbs winced at that comment.

"I never knew. I looked, believe me I looked for any cue from him but he seemed to hide more from me than anyone else. Had I known he would have never been with that bastard and he'd be in my arms instead of in the ground." He broke down again.

Andrea watched for a moment her own tears falling sliently. "It hurts to hurt someone you love Jethro Gibbs." She said softly. "Tony was always sure you knew that." Gibbs looked astounded and then nodded. "I can't take this pain I thought it hurt before but now I feel like I'm dying. He should have been with me!"

Gibbs turned and looked at Future, his tears were almost blinding him. "Please tell me I have a chance to right this wrong!" He begged. "I can't loose him. I'd die without Tony. Please tell me this hasn't come to pass."

Gibbs had never begged for anything but he knew he wouldn't survive loosing another love. Tony had got under his skin without him looking and now he was there it was obvious to Gibbs that he wasn't going to move.

"Please, Please Spirit. I need him. I love him. I'll do anything just please don't let him die. Let me help him!"

Future said nothing and soon Gibbs was falling through the fog the pain of losing Tony as real as loosing Shannon and Kelly had been. He yelled as the fog closed in around him and everything went black and he knew no more.

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In the next chapter Gibbs' reaction to what he has learned will be change his ways? Find out soon! 


	5. Chapter 5: Change

Happy New Year everyone!

Well I'm back again I've been busy but it's here I want to get this finished so I have a question do you guys want an extra chapter to find out what would have happened in the future? I can write one because of course I know hehe if not I'll just write an epilogue because don't you want to know who sent the Spirits in the first place? Let me know...

**Disclaimer: **I wish for a Tony DiNozzo as a belated Chiristmas present...

**Reviewers:**

**Don't Touch: **Thanx for the review! Here is the next chapter

**Katte: **Thanx for the review! Shall I write that chapter then?

**Poohbear123: **Thanx for the review!

**Ladc: **Thanx for the review! I love Tony too! Thanx so much for reading despite your gut reaction not too. It means alot. And of course I completely agree with you Gibbs and Tony is the one true pairing! lol. As for the grammar thanx for pointing it out I will correct that. Only thing I can say in my defence is that i was tired but of course that don't excuse it. I will correct it. thanx for pointing it out.

**JaysEmm: **Thanx for the review! Happy ending coming soon

**SparkingCatsEye: **Thanx for review! Shall I write my extra chapter for you to find out?

**Lillith: **Thanx for the review! You were right in Christmas Carol Scrooge does die but i thought Tony dying might make Gibbs take notice. Alot more. I'm pleased you liked it!

**Rosebud24: **I hate being stranded with no computer! It's like a cruel and unusual punishment lol. Thanx for the review pleased you like it.

**Ams-Inc: **Thanx for the review! Here's the next chapter not quite the end but not far off.

**M Chette: **Thanx for the review! Well I'm thinking of writing the chapter so you might find out lol.

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Christmas Wish

Chapter Five: Change

Gibbs woke violently under his boat. "No!" He yelled as he came around. No. Tony couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be. Gibbs couldn't suffer another loss at Christmas, and if he lost Tony then he just wouldn't survive it had taken him so long to realise but it didn't make it any less true.

He was in love with Tony DiNozzo.

He raced up the stairs his heart in his mouth. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't be. He couldn't have missed his chance already. But when he got into the living room his mug was where he had left it when he'd gone into the cellar but there was a vast difference. Dawn was now peaking through the curtains.

No, surely it couldn't be true. He reached frantically for his cell phone looking at the display. The time read 7am on the 25th of December. He breathed a sigh of relief. He'd simply slept through until Christmas morning. He was starting to question that it had actually happened but well, even if he had dreamed the whole thing up, it had opened his eyes.

He had let himself forget all the things he had once loved about Christmas because it had been so damn painful. All the good things eventually led him to remember all the bad things he wished would just disappear.

But now it was time for a change. He got up and got dressed he needed to make sure Tony was alright this Christmas there was going to be a change. The past had haunted him long enough. He needed to move on now. It was time. He could do this he dived in the shower and was ready in ten minutes flat and out the door with his keys, wallet and keys before he even had time to wonder what the hell he was doing.

He knew it was only 7.10 but he needed to see Tony now. He couldn't wait. He needed to make sure Tony was alright. That he was safe. He couldn't rest until he'd done it and if that meant waking up on Christmas Day then so be it.

He was in the car and driving before he had time to realise that the easiest thing to do would have been to pick up and call Tony on his phone but he hadn't even thought of that. All he could think about was seeing Tony. Besides, he reasoned, it was better this way.

He made it to Tony's apartment in record time, the roads though icy were clear so early on Christmas Day. Gibbs realised he had probably broken about three traffic rules as he broke but he didn't care. He just needed to get there.

He stopped outside Tony's apartment and tore up to his floor and wrapped on the door. There was no answer. He started to panic. What if something had happened? He pulled out his phone and rang the apartment hearing the phone ring in the apartment and no one picking up.

Gibbs snapped his phone closed and tried to kill the panic. He had a spare key to Tony's apartment but he hadn't thought to bring it with him he was just beginning to wonder how he could pick the lock without being seen when a door opened and an elderly woman came out of the flat across the hall and picked up her paper. She was dressed in black slacks and a white shirt and her long white hair was pinned up on her head. Her brown eyes regarded him quietly.

"Hello." She said softly. "Merry Christmas." She smiled.

Gibbs smiled. "Merry Christmas Ma'am."

She looked at the apartment door he was stood outside of, "You looking for Anthony?"

She asked with a smile on her face. "Yeah I am actually." Gibbs said. "I thought he'd be in it's early."

The woman smiled softly. "You won't find Tony here, not on Christmas day. It's always an early start for him.

" She looked at him again and said, "I recognise you now. You work with Tony don't you?" Gibbs was impressed he hadn't been to Tony's apartment much so for her to notice him she must be observant.

"Yes. I work with Tony. I'm his supervisor." "Are you asking him to work?" The woman asked. "He'll be disappointed." She smiled fondly. Gibbs realised that she obviously cared a lot for Tony and knew him quite well.

"No. I was just looking for him." Gibbs was quick to reassure him. "You do, do you?" Was it Gibbs or where her eyes twinkling. "You need to head to Oldman's. he helps out with the kids most weekends and takes presents at Christmas. He's always asking for toy donations." Her eyes were affectionate.

Gibbs heart was in his throat as he asked. "Oldman's? You mean the children's centre?" "Yes." The lady said. Just like in his dream… No…It couldn't be real… Could it?

"He'll be there now. He usually goes around six in tome for the kids waking up." Gibbs nodded in thanks and turned to go he turned to go and said, "Thank-you…" "Susan." The lady said smiling. "Susan Sharpe." Gibbs nodded. "I hope to see you again Susan and Merry Christmas again."

Then he was out into the stairwell and out of the apartment complex towards his car and ultimately Tony. As he got in his car he realised that Tony's old Mustang wasn't there and he should have known he wouldn't be home. He headed towards Oldman's at a slightly safer speed knowing Tony wasn't in any danger at that present moment.

He pulled into Oldman's car park immediately spotting Tony's distinctive car. He parked and got out realising just how few cars were parked. His heart went out to the kids and he entered.

The sounds of the children screaming washed over him immediately and he headed to the noisiest part of the centre immediately spotting Tony getting dived on by five kids.

His eyes were sparkling and he was laughing. "No fair!" He yelled. "Five onto one! No way is that fair!" "We allowed it's Christmas." One of the girls squealed. "You break the rules all the time." A little boys said as they all rolled round on the floor oblivious to what was going on elsewhere.

Gibbs looked around and couldn't get out of his head how right that looked. But it was different to his dream and he didn't see the girl anywhere, maybe he told me and it slipped my mind. He thought as he watched Tony. That had to be it, he decided. He couldn't imagine that Tony would do something like this and _not _tell anyone. He didn't for one second think Tony wasn't capable of something like this, he had always known Tony had a good heart and was a good person despite his playboy persona he just couldn't imagine Tony keeping it a secret knowing how excited Tony always got over Christmas.

He was about to make himself known when _she _entered. The girl, from the dream she looked beautiful her long dark hair tied back in a high ponytail out the way in jeans and t-shirt. Her blue eyes looked more violet up close.

She laughed as she approached the squirming mass on the floor. "All right kids let's give Tony room to breathe for a few minutes." The kids reluctantly climbed off and Tony sat up and rose lithely to his feet looking as if he had just stepped out of a fashion magazine and not off the floor after play fighting.

"Andrea!" He said delightedly "The love of my life." He picked her up and swung her round. She laughed and he put her down. She stroked his face with an incredibly tender look on her face and Gibbs wondered if he had lost even before he had begun.

But he decided that even if he had he needed to see Tony and decided it was time to make himself known and walked with purposeful strides into the centre. Almost as if Tony had felt him there he looked up and his jaw dropped and his blue green eyes went wide.

"Gibbs?" He asked. He blinked as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Andrea turned round and the smile she gave Gibbs seemed almost predatory.

"Gibbs? This is Gibbs? _The _Gibbs?" There was glee in his voice and Gibbs could almost see her bouncing in anticipation. Gibbs was reminded of an excited Abby. Tony glared at her and she said no more though she didn't stop smiling.

"Have we got a case?" Tony said uncertainly checking his belt for his phone and pager and evidently more than a little confused when there had been no such call made.

"No Tony. We haven't got a case. You'd know that before me surely?" Tony blushed, "Well yeah. But if we haven't what are you doing here?" Gibbs decided he liked the look of that blush but then felt his heartache when he realised the implication of Tony's words. Tony didn't think Gibbs had any reason to talk to him if not for a case.

Gibbs realised what an idiot he'd been, of course Tony would think that. Gibbs had never given him any indication that he would think otherwise and decided that it really was time he started changing for the better even if it was only one thing at a time.

"I needed to talk to you and one of your neighbours told me where to find you." Tony nodded. "Okay…" he said looking at Gibbs as if trying to work out what would have caused it.

At that moment they were interrupted by a tall blonde man with striking green eyes walking into the room. "Hey baby." Andrea said her eyes tracking his every movement.

"Hey." He said. He bent and gave Andrea a kiss on the forehead. He looked up and saw Gibbs. "Whose this?" "This is Tony's supervisor Jethro Gibbs. He's come to see Tony." Her eyes lit up and the guy gave a booming laugh.

"Welcome Jethro. I hope you like Children I will expect some help now you're here." He looked down at Andrea. "I'm Calum Costa. You've met my wife Andrea I assume?" He smiled.

Jethro breathed a sigh of relief that Andrea was no longer in his way and smiled. "We were getting there." Calum nodded. "We run Oldman's between us. Your Agent Tony here is a life saver. You should be proud of him." "I am." Gibbs said before he could stop himself.

"He's the best agent I've had the pleasure of working with." He smiled at Tony who now had the look of a goldfish though he was trying to hide it. Calum looked between them and smiled. "Did you want to speak to Tony? There's a room over there you can use. I hope you're not stealing him away just yet though. I've still got plans for him later."

He clapped Tony on the shoulder bent and whispered something in his ear before turning and taking Andrea by the hand and pulling her away. Their heads were bent together as they walked.

Tony looked at Gibbs and then silently led the way towards the room Calum had indicated. Once the door was shut Tony sank into a chair and Gibbs did the same they sat for a moment in silence before Tony burst out, "Gibbs what the hell are you doing here?"

Gibbs pulled a hand through his hair. now that he was here he wasn't sure how he was meant to explain it. How did you explain something like that? He decided to take the bull by the horns and just explain.

He wasn't sure whether Tony would believe it but right now he really didn't care. he just needed to tell Tony that he cared, that he prayed it wasn't too late, that he could still make a difference.

"Tony I came here to ask whether…" Gibbs drifted off again words had never been his strong suit. Ever. But then he smiled thinking of the present. It was so distinctive there was no way he could have known about it.

"My present looks interesting red shiny paper and blue shiny paper with sliver stars on. Interesting choice." Tony coloured instantly. "I ran out of wrapping paper and I realised I hadn't wrapped yours. I had a lot to wrap with the kids…" Tony trailed of his eyes wide.

"Wait how do you know?" Gibbs decided now was the time to act. There was no sense in waiting he grabbed Tony's hands and forced Tony to look at him. "I can't explain what happened last night, I'm not even sure I want to all I know is I can't loose you. Tony please, don't leave me."

Then before he could change his mind Gibbs surged forward and kissed Tony chastely on the lips. He drew back unsure of Tony's expression nearly dumbfounded in awe at the dazed but beautiful look on Tony's face.

Tony finally found his voice. "I must be dreaming." He said looking around. "This can't be happening. I'm going to wake up and I'm going to realise Christmas Day hasn't started yet."

Gibbs couldn't help it. He touched Tony's face. "No. No Tony. It's real. When have I ever lied to you?" Tony looked up. "Never Boss." He whispered. Gibbs nodded. "So tell me, why would I start now?"

"I don't…" Tony started but then stopped. "But you… I… But you're… you're straight!" Tony finally managed to stutter after managing to string his words together.

"Tony I'm far from straight. I just don't advertise. I just… I got a clue… I'm not sure how, I got a clue that you might not be as straight as you pretend to be and I decided for once in my life to go for it. Did I just make the biggest mistake I could have ever made?"

Tony had remained silent and Gibbs started to feel slightly sick. What if he had made a mistake?

Just when he was going to curse his luck and decide that it had all been a stupid fantasy Tony grabbed Gibbs and crushed their lips together. Gibbs took a moment to realise what was going on before he reacted the only way he could think of and pulled Tony to him.

They kissed for what seemed like forever until oxygen became a necessity and Gibbs didn't think he had hated having to breathe more than he had in that moment. He reluctantly released Tony and looked at the younger man.

Tony's eyes were sparkling and Gibbs had never seen him look so beautiful. "This has to be the best Christmas present I've ever had." Tony whispered.

Gibbs smiled softly unable to keep from touching Tony again. "So does this mean you won't punch me for doing it again?" Gibbs asked. Tony smiled and shook his head.

Gibbs closed his eyes his heart releasing a weight he hadn't known he had been carrying. He buried his head in Tony's hair and whispered. "Don't you dare leave me DiNozzo."

"I'm right where I wanna be Boss." Tony said quietly. "I've got your six." Gibbs said pulling Tony to him. "You always did." Tony smiled and bent to kiss Gibbs again. Gibbs met him half way.

Gibbs decided this was the best Christmas he had in such a long time and couldn't imagine spending another without Tony. He knew they had so much to sort out. And one day, maybe he'd tell Tony exactly what had happened, but now he was happy to revel in the fact that Tony loved him and wanted to be with him.

He looked at Tony and saw Tony's face light up. He decided he had been a fool to not act before. But now Tony was his and now he had claimed he would never let him go ever. Tony was right where he was meant to be.

With Gibbs.

It had to have been the best Christmas present he could have gotten. He knew soon he would have to go out and face the knowing faces of Andrea and Calum, that soon they would have to go back out into the world and join it, but right then he didn't care.

He was with Tony, he had been given a chance and he wasn't about to waste it. He was with Tony and that was all that mattered. All that had ever really mattered. He should have known he was gone the moment Tony stepped up to the crime tape over five years ago.

But now he had. And he couldn't have been happier.

He had a life to live and he finally realised that he had a reason to live it. All thanks to three Spirits and a Christmas Wish.

* * *

And then it gets sickenly sick. Ususally I don't do fluff. I'm not sure I've done this all that well but well, poor Gibbs had enough heartache at Christmas so I thought I'd give it a go. I hope it didn't disapoint anyone i thought it was kind of cute and I'm not finished yet.

Let me know what you think and whether you want the future chapter

Cya next time.


	6. Chapter 6: What If

Okay this didn't turn out quite as I had planned. For one it's the longest chapter so far... And well I gave it a kinda.. well unexpected ending. Not sure what to think of it to be honest. It's completely taken me by surprise although I can't say I'm unhappy with the result.

So here it is guys this is the What If Chapter... What If Gibbs had ignored his warning or.. What if he never had one.. Here's the answer. After this chapter there could be one more I have a plan for an epilogue if you want one let me know!

**Disclaimer: Tony Will Be Mine You'll See...**

**Warning: If You haven't realised by now this IS SLASH Get over it or get out!**

**Reviewers:**

**Super Em: **Thanx for the review! Welcome back! Fluff is not my thing so your review means loads... Epilogue it is then I think...

**Midnightdesire: **Thanx for the review it made me blush!

**Jo: **Thanx for the reivew! Tibbs is the best. Always will be... Epilogue it is then

**Rosebud26: **Thanx for the reivew! The vote of confidence was needed. Fluff really isn't my thing another vote for Epilogue

**M Chatte: **Thanx for the review! Both it is!

**Sorgina:** Thanx for the review! Another vote is counted

**Donttouch: **Thanx for the review! Means alot I hope you like the next chapter!

**SparklingCatsEye: **Thanx for the review! Another Chapter I will write I think hehehe...

Okay guys here we go...

* * *

Christmas Wish

Chapter Six: What If

Gibbs sat at his desk not sure why he was still here but not able to move to go home either. They'd just wrapped up a case and he'd sent the team home. He knew that Abby had a date with McGee that they'd been bouncing about all day though McGee had tried his hardest to tone it down in front of Gibbs.

Their on-off relationship had finally seemingly taken a turn towards permanent and Gibbs couldn't deny them that. He sighed. Gibbs had not had a steady relationship since the divorce of his third wife. The return of Jenny Goddard just over seven years ago had left him reeling. They'd had another short tryst before Gibbs had realised that like before it was never going to work.

In fact Gibbs had come to realise that there was only one person that he wanted to have any sort of relationship with and that was his ex- senior field agent Tony DiNozzo.

After he had resigned and relocated to Mexico Tony had took over the team when Gibbs had come back again he'd expected for everything to just fall back into place. It hadn't.

After Tony had been in charge he found that Tony butted heads with him more, and while he didn't outright defy him there were certain things that Tony did his own way. When Gibbs had complained to Ducky, Ducky had simply stated that Tony had led the team admirably when Gibbs had been missing in action, and perhaps it was too much to expect that Tony would simply fall back in to Gibbs' old ways.

They had found a way to make it work eventually though Gibbs had chewed Tony a new one for the undercover operation he had done for Jen. Another two years down the line and the thing that Gibbs had been dreading happened. Tony got his own team.

It was only later after talking to Abby and her slipping up that he realised that Jen had offered Tony his own team much earlier on and Tony had said no. Gibbs had always wondered at that later because Tony had more than enough experience and more than enough skill to be a good team leader.

The new agent they got in his place was not a patch on Tony and never would be as far as Gibbs was concerned. And although he looked for one there was no viable reason to get rid of him. Jensen Davies was a good agent just not Tony.

Gibbs sighed. He missed Tony almost like he would miss a limb if it was missing although he almost always saw Tony in the office and Tony made a point of coming to see the old team constantly while his own was now rivalling Gibbs for the most solves in the year since Tony had become their team leader.

Gibbs looked at his computer screen. There was nothing keeping him here but there was no reason for him to go home either. He just wasn't sure what he wanted to do, he felt restless. Another hour passed and Gibbs realised he was probably last in the building though if he stayed much longer he figured he might get a glimpse of DiNozzo.

And though he would never admit it that was a viable reason all on it's own as to why he would stay. Tony still came in and did his work when everyone else was sleeping. He still had many of the habits he had when he was a senior field agent and he was still liked enough that other teams went to him with problems. He hadn't turned into a bastard when he had been promoted. He also sometimes even called Gibbs Boss even though he really had no need to anymore. When Gibbs had asked him about it Tony had shrugged and said it was habit now. And also respect for the team leader that had made him the investigator he was.

He'd finished it off with a sloppy salute before heading for the elevator with his team. Gibbs had been left feeling elated and slightly amused that a sloppy salute could leave him feeling more respected than he had been when he was in the Corps.

Just as Gibbs was about to turn in his cell phone rang. "Gibbs." He snapped into the phone.

"Gibbs?" Tony's voice sounded weak and confused.

"Tony?" Gibbs said standing up so quick that his chair went flying. "Are you okay?" "No." Tony coughed and Gibbs felt his heart lodge in his throat. "No Boss I don't think I am."

"Tony talk to me, where are you?" "I… I'm… At home. I think. I don't know. Everything's spinning. I can't have moved can I Boss?" He whispered. Then there was silence.

"Tony?" Gibbs said pressing the button on the elevator then dashing down the stairs towards the parking garage.

Boss I think I screwed up…" Gibbs was running towards his car his phone pinned to his ear. "Tony just keep talking to me." Gibbs commanded. "Tell me what you see."

"The wall. Blood. My DVDs." Tony's voice was soft now. Gibbs had never known Tony be so unsure of himself. Gibbs tore out of the parking garage he knew he should ring for the paramedics but he didn't dare loose the connection with Tony in case he couldn't get him again.

He must have broken about three speed laws getting to Tony but nothing else mattered. Nothing else but getting to Tony. He pulled up outside Tony's house seeing his new Mustang parked in the apartment space.

He tore up the steps and round to the apartment he knew Tony lived in. the door was locked but he picked the lock and tore inside what he saw tore his heart open. Tony was laid on the floor in a pool of blood it was gushing from his shoulder.

"Tony!" He yelled. He raced towards the ex-senior field agent flipping open his phone and snapping for the paramedics to come. The cops, the paramedics he didn't care. All he cared about was making Tony safe.

Then he put pressure on the wound. He'd seen enough gunshot wounds to know what one looked like and he also knew it was in a critical position the fact that Tony had held on this long was astounding but now Gibbs needed him to hold on a little more.

"Tony! Talk to me!" Gibbs snapped. "Gibbs?" Tony said opening his dazed looking green eyes. "Tony keep fighting the paramedics are nearly here. You will not die." Gibbs whispered remembering the order he'd snapped out when Tony had caught the plague all that time before.

"I'll trying Boss." Tony whispered coughing blood onto Gibbs' shirt. "I never thought you'd come. Never thought I'd have the chance to say this." "Say what?" Gibbs whispered.

"I love you." Tony gasped out.

"No." Gibbs barked. "No death bed confessions. Tell me when you're well and we'll see what we can do about it." "This one's got me beat Boss." Tony whispered. "I don't think there'll be another time."

Gibbs felt tears pricking his eyes. He knew how bad it was, he could see but he couldn't, no wouldn't believe that this was the end. Tony still had so much life to lead. "No, Tony. No. You will not leave me. I will not loose another person I love at Christmas. I love you Tony. Hold on. For me."

He gripped Tony's hand and then made a tourniquet to stem the bleeding. The paramedics crashed in the door and blocked Gibbs' view of Tony. "We need to get him to the ER." And then he was gone.

Gibbs took a look round the room in a daze and realised what a mess it was. He realised he was going to have to call this in, but the case would be his even if he had to fight off every other team.

Tony was no longer part of his team so he could take the case from Tony's own team. He would get to the bottom of what happened one way or another.

At the hospital he was shocked to discover that he was listed as Tony's emergency contact. It was a good job because he then had no reason to bully what the prognosis was out of the doctors. Unfortunately the result was not what he wanted.

He rang the rest of his team and then rang NCIS to notify Tony's team and within half an hour everyone was there. Ducky came in first followed by Gerald. "Jethro what's wrong with Anthony?" Ducky demanded.

"I found him at his apartment, gunshot wound to the shoulder." Gibbs said mechanically all the while looking at the theatre doors where Tony had been wheeled into. "Surely someone heard the sound of a gun?" Ducky demanded. "I don't know Ducky but I will find out."

At that moment Abby, McGee, Michelle and Jimmy charged in followed by Vince and Amber from Tony's team. "How is he?" Amber demanded as they caught up with Ducky and Gibbs. "Not in a good way." Ducky said gravely. "He's in theatre now."

Ziva came in next with Jensen and Jenny followed by Danny, Jason and Michael who made up the rest of Tony's team. All the NCIS agents huddled together saying little but all waiting for the doors to open.

Finally they did and the surgeon who had operated on Tony came out still in his scrubs. "Mr. Gibbs?" He asked. "That's me." Gibbs said quietly standing up. "How is he?" "I'd like to talk to you. Can you please come with me?" Gibbs really didn't like the sound of that.

"These are Tony's friends whatever you can say to me you can say to them. Tony would want them to know." "Very well. Can you all follow me?" They followed the surgeon into a room marked relative's room and Gibbs felt his stomach drop. He looked at Ducky and Ducky's eyes had become soft. Gerald's mouth was set in a hard line and Jimmy seemed to have forced himself to stay on his feet. Jen had her hand over her mouth.

They all crowded in.

"My name is Dr. Fossil. I operated on Anthony." "Tony." Most of the room corrected. "Tony then." He nodded. "There was extensive damage done by the bullet but there was nothing of the bullet left in, unfortunately…"

Gibbs closed his eyes he knew what was coming next. "Unfortunately there was too much damage. I'm sorry to have to tell you this. Tony succumbed to his injuries ten minutes ago."

There was a stunned silence and then Abby asked, "What does that mean exactly?" though tears were falling down her cheeks unchecked.

"I'm sorry but Tony died ten minutes ago as a result of his injuries. He fought very hard and I feel I should tell you this but as well as the obvious injuries Tony had sustained massive internal bleeding. I'm sorry but the damage done was too much for his body to take."

Everyone seemed to break down at once. Abby seemed to sag into the seat unable to keep herself up Ziva was stood still almost in shock but forcing herself not to have a reaction. Gibbs wanted to punch something. Someone had taken Tony's life from him that was sure and he wasn't going to rest until he found out who the sick bastard was.

He looked at Jen and said, "I'll take the case." He dared her to tell him no and she must have something in his face because she simply nodded and then turned and looked at Tony's team. "You all have a week bereavement leave effective immediately."

"We want to help." Vince said. Gibbs looked at him. He was Tony's senor field agent though he had never had to put up with as much as Tony had. As far as he could tell no one ever wanted to leave Tony's team and he was a respected team leader.

"You're too close." Jen said. "What and they're not?" Danny said backing up Vince. "They're his old team! We should at least get to know what's happening." "You will." Gibbs said looking at them all. "I'll let you know personally what I find."

The team looked at each other and then at Vince and he nodded. "Fine." They all turned to leave as one and then turned back. "Can you please let us know when the funeral will be please?" It was Abby that answered this time. "Yeah. I'll let you all know."

They left and suddenly Gibbs realised he had too as well, he couldn't be here anymore. He needed to get out and now. He looked at Jen and said, "The scene is fresh we need to get to it." This seemed to wake the others up.

"I'm with you Boss." McGee and Jensen said together. Gibbs looked at Jensen surprised. He'd been hired after Tony had left the team but he guessed he shouldn't have been surprised Tony had away of getting under the skin and he looked at Abby.

"Are you up to this Abby?" "I wouldn't trust anyone else." She said wiping her tears and standing up. "We'll take good care of Tony Jethro." Ducky said. "I'll see what he can tell me."

Gibbs nodded and left unable to face anymore of their faces. He strode outside and found and saw a woman talking to doctor Fossil. She was in a nurse's uniform and as he put a hand on her arm she seemed to sag. Abby had followed him out and catching sight of the nurse made a beeline for her hugging her fiercely.

She was obviously a friend of Tony's and Gibbs knew courtesy meant he should go and talk but he couldn't. He had to do something, he had to go and find that bastard that had hurt Tony. Took Tony away from him.

The last words Tony had ever said to him rang in his ears and he had to force the bile back down his throat. He would find out what happened to Tony, even if it took him the rest of his life. He would not let Tony's case become another unsolved in NCIS files.

No. Tony deserved more than that. He felt anger course through his body. How dare someone do that to Tony? He knew he would break soon but he couldn't break yet. He had to find out what happened to Tony and after? Well nothing else mattered after that. He cuffed his face in case the tears he knew were hiding somewhere had escaped but his cheeks were dry, and anger tore through everything else.

Good. Anger he could work with. He would find the bastard that had hurt Tony and when he did the bastard would wish they were dead. He would see to that. He continued walking his mind becoming calm at the thought of what he had to do.

McGee and Jensen caught up with him at the car park. "Meet me at Tony's apartment with your stuff." He said softly before going to the Tony's apartment.

Ziva joined them shortly after and together they went through Tony's apartment. It wasn't an easy task but what was certain was that Tony had put up a fight there was blood over the walls and on the carpet where Tony had finally fallen.

It took eight hours to completely process Tony's apartment and Gibbs had let the fact slip that McGee had had to go and be sick. Only a will of steel had stopped Gibbs himself from throwing up.

They returned to the office and McGee was pale and Jensen grim. They entered the lab to find Tony's own team sat in the lab waiting for them. Vince looked up as they entered. "We can't help but we'll sit here. We're on leave but no one said we had to leave the building."

Gibbs nodded but said nothing. He approved of their loyalty to their team leader. Tony had deserved nothing less than that and now he was going to give Tony one last send off and jail the bastard that had ended his life early forever.

It hurt watching Abby process yet another agent's things but it hurt more because it was Tony. Tony had survived Gibbs in a way no one else ever had, he'd put up with Gibbs and his random mood swings. He'd done more work than most of the other agents picking up the slack that Gibbs had left in his wake.

Gibbs had never realised until McGee had become the senior field agent after Tony had got his own team that Tony still did all the supply lists. All the paper work and politics that Gibbs just did not have the time for. McGee hadn't even known they'd existed until they'd been overdue and Gibbs had pulled him up for it. It was only then he'd realised with everything Tony had done, even when he was leading the team he'd still managed to get everything done.

Abby was like a whirlwind whipping round the lab trying to get the results they needed. The absence of her music added another thing to Gibbs' long list of what was wrong with this picture. Tony's team didn't move from the lab and although he could see they were desperate to help they didn't interfere.

"Go home everyone." Gibbs addressed them. "I'll call all of you once I have something." "No." Amber snapped immediately. "I will not leave this room until I know what happened to Tony I don't care how long it takes."

It was clear to Gibbs that she had been crying but she kept a tight reign on her emotions and Gibbs admired that. The whole office had heard of Tony's death and they were all in mourning everyone seemed to know who he was and all seemed to share a story enough for grief.

At that moment Jen stormed into the lab and said, "Jethro I need to speak to you. Now." He'd never seen Jen so angry before. They walked into the elevator and Gibbs pulled the stop switch.

"I notified Tony's family." She said before adding, "If you can call them that." "What's that supposed to mean?" Gibbs snapped. "I spoke to DiNozzo's assistant who after a lot of arguing put me through to DiNozzo Senior, and he well, "He didn't care Jethro he has no interest in whether Tony is alive or dead." She flinched as without warning Jethro punched the elevator wall.

"If I didn't have to find out who did this to Tony I'd skin him alive." Gibbs ground out. "Abby is taking care of arrangements for the funeral." Jen said at last. "DiNozzo better not show up Jen or I might not be responsible for my actions." With that Gibbs pushed the button to move the elevator and stepped out with out a backward glance.

The next week was hell. Everyone was tried but refused to stop as they pieced together what had happened. The bullet that Gibbs found in the wall was a match to a .22 calibre which was bad enough but it was what Ducky found that made Gibbs' blood boil.

"There are definite signs of abuse here Jethro. And from the looks of things long standing abuse." "Abuse?" Gibbs couldn't believe it. "I believe it to be the cause of the internal bleeding that finally killed him." Ducky sighed. He smoothed Tony's hair over and Gibbs had to look away.

This was so wrong. So wrong. Tony had been so active in life, never stood still for a moment and the thought that he would never again see Tony that way almost tore Gibbs apart.

"What kind of abuse?" "You know better than to ask me that Jethro." Ducky said Gibbs heard his voice crack but said nothing. "He's got calcification of the ribs and severe damage to his kidneys. The kind that kills. And from the looks of some of his X-rays…." Ducky trailed off as a tear fell down his face. He swiped it away angrily.

"You find that bastard Gibbs and you make them pay. No one deserves this kind of treatment and especially not Anthony."

Gibbs didn't tell the team what he and Ducky had found out he didn't think Tony would appreciate anyone finding out about him. At least not till they had too. In the end it was Tony himself that led them back to the person that had stripped him of his life.

The bruising around Tony's wrists and the defence wounds on his arms and legs showed the team that Tony hadn't gone quietly though Gibbs could have told anyone that. Tony had held on longer than anyone he knew his heart broke at the thought of the last words Tony had said, they whirled round in his head until he shut them down.

He couldn't think of that now. He needed to help Tony. He needed to get the bastard who helped Tony. Ducky had dislodged some skin samples from under Tony's fingernails it was a tough time for Gibbs waiting on the results although McGee and Jensen had returned to the scene and round the gun hidden in a garbage can.

It was registered to a Captain Seth Johnson. A Marine. Gibbs grinned savagely he knew how to deal with Marines. "He's Navy." Gibbs snapped. "I want him in here." "On it Boss." McGee said leaving the room. An hour later Gibbs watched Seth Johnson be hauled into the interview room where Gibbs left him to stew. He wanted everything he could get on him before he went in.

The DNA result came back it was a match to Captain Johnson. Armed with the results Gibbs went into the interrogation room all of Tony's team and the rest of Gibbs' team stood outside to watch.

Captain Seth Johnson looked to be five inches taller than what Tony would have been with at least 20lbs on Tony's weight. The extra weight though was obviously all muscle. And from the way he held himself and the way he walked it was obvious he knew how to throw his weight around.

Gibbs started off slowly building Seth's confidence and for a moment Gibbs wondered if it was wrong, he found out that Tony had been seeing Seth, something Seth hadn't wanted to divulge because he thought it would affect Tony's memory. That was until Gibbs shot him down and said that Tony had been one of the best investigators he had ever worked with and what Tony did on his own time was his own business and no one else's.

This seemed to give Seth strength and he began to speak quicker. And Gibbs let him speak until he caught Seth in a lie. Seth had told Gibbs that while he had spoken to Tony he hadn't actually seen him because Tony had had plans and he hadn't called to cancel their rain check.

But then he slipped up when Gibbs was talking about Tony how good of an agent he was and how he wasn't going to stop until he found the person that had hurt him and he was pleased that Seth had taken the time to come down to NCIS.

Seth had said he didn't mind anything for Tony, he couldn't believe it had happened after all he'd only seen Tony earlier in the day. That was the opening Gibbs had been waiting for and he pounced on it and left Seth with nowhere to go. In the end it took McGee, Jensen and the whole of Tony's team to haul Gibbs back when he dived over the table in an attempt to get at Johnson.

Johnson had cracked and he was guilty but as far as Gibbs was aware there wasn't a punishment enough. The death penalty not strong enough Gibbs wanted to leave him in a room to rot.

Seth Johnson was arrested and charged with murder of Federal Agent Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. But it was the other things Gibbs had found out that haunted him. Tony had been in an on-off relationship with Seth Johnson for over two years but in that time Tony had been subjected to hell on earth. Seth had beaten him physically and not just once or twice. It seemed Seth Johnson had a temper.

A huge one. And when he'd found out Tony would not be the beneficially to the money that Daddy owned Seth had gotten angry. He'd slashed Tony to bits and left. Then just when Tony thought he was free and single Seth would reappear out of the blue. Claim Tony was cheating on him and it would start all over again.

One thing was for sure Tony hadn't taken the beating without a fight. He'd fought Seth at every corner until Seth had finally done what he had been threatening to do for a year. He'd shot Tony and left him to die.

And when it came down to it the reason for it was jealousy. Not being able to let Tony go. Not that Tony had a boyfriend, no the person Seth had seen him with that caused the rage that night had been Gibbs himself. Seth had been stalking Tony and saw the two of them together.

Gibbs had met Tony in the parking garage as they'd both come in off different cases. For Gibbs that moment had been too much of an opportunity to pass up. They'd talked a little and Seth had seen Tony smile and Gibbs smile in return which only seemed to happen around Tony. That had been the beginning of the end.

That piece of information tore Gibbs apart. He'd been in love with Tony for years. If only he'd had the guts to make a move, suck it up and be a Marine like he was meant to be Tony would have never been with Johnson, the bastard that didn't deserve life, he would have been with Gibbs. Where he belonged. Safe. And loved.

Ducky released Tony's body after they charged Johnson and Abby announced that the funeral would be the following week. Gibbs had every intention of going, how could he not? He loved Tony and Tony deserved that much. And so bloody much more.

But he never made the funeral.

The day before he'd gone to Jen and given in his resignation letter and left without a backward glance. He couldn't work there without thinking Tony would walk in the door again it was just wrong. Jen had looked at the letter and sighed. As if she'd known it would come she'd wished him luck with whatever he did next but all Gibbs wanted to do was forget.

Forget the pain and forget the fact that he had failed the most important person in the world. And what was worse the person in question had never known. He'd felt himself starting to break as soon as he walked in the door and headed straight for the basement.

He never made the funeral.

He'd gotten one hell of a hangover instead working on his boat that he had almost finished and then felt like he should burn. He'd even put the flame to the wood ready to watch it burn but so much of Tony had gone into this boat.

If he burnt it what the hell did he have left? He couldn't do it. He threw the lighter across the room grabbed the strongest alcohol he had and chugged it down passing out underneath.

The next day he woke up wondering why he had drank enough to pass out and why he was sleeping under the boat until remembered and it was like he was being sucker-punched in the stomach and had to dash to the sink to vomit.

He looked at the suit set out and turned away. He couldn't go. He couldn't face the fact that if he went then Tony would really be gone and he'd have to say goodbye. It would be real and Gibbs wasn't ready for that. He didn't want to let Tony go.

Eventually though, long after the funeral he found himself in the cemetery. Wearing the suit under a long overcoat. The plot for Tony was clear. It could be seen almost as soon as he walked in. It was on an unmarked patch of grass under a tree Tony would have loved it. Abby had outdone herself with the flowers the grave was covered in them.

Gibbs walked up to the grave feeling older than he had ever felt and feeling more pain than he thought it was possible to feel.

He looked down at his hand at the single rose he'd brought along with a set of dog tags he'd bought just before he'd come. The rose was a beautiful one blood red. It suited Gibbs perfectly he might have been bleeding for all the pain he was in.

He laid the rose on Tony's grave and knelt down next to the newly turned earth. The weak winter sunlight broke through taking the edge off the air but Gibbs was numb to it.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Gibbs said softly. "I know I wasn't at your service but I couldn't bare to be there. But I couldn't not come at all. How could I stand there when I knew that only if I had looked hard enough this would have never happened." He shook his head.

"Tony, why? Why did you never tell me?"

Gibbs wanted to be angry at Tony they'd been enough domestic cases and enough cases of abuse that Tony must have realised what was going on. But all he could feel was anger at himself. Tony might not have been on his team but he prided himself on being able to read people. How could Tony, the one person he cared most about, have eluded him?

"Why did you keep it a secret? I would have helped you. I would have protected you! I'd give anything for you!"

And then the flood gates opened. All the pain and heartbreak he hadn't allowed himself to feel flooded his senses and he couldn't stop the sob that tore from his throat. And after one had escaped he started to sob brokenly.

"How could you let this happen to you? How could you keep this a secret? How could you not tell me you loved me?" Gibbs finally broke down completely and the tears fell hard and fast.

"If only you had said and then maybe we would not be in this place. I can't live without you Tony. I can't be at NCIS the place I failed you. I resigned for good this time. I only had a few years left and I would have had to leave active field duty anyway. But I can't be there when you won't be."

"If you'd told me we would have been together. I would have protected you. How did you not see that, that was why I wanted you to stay on my team? I needed you where I could see you. Where I could protect you. And when you finally got your own team I still hovered over you. And even that wasn't enough. Oh God Tony I'm so sorry."

"So you're Gibbs." A voice said.

"Who are you?" Gibbs demanded. "My name is Andrea Costa." Andrea said softly. "Tony is," Andrea closed her eyes, "Was my best friend. So are you?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah I was his supervisor at NCIS." "And the love of his life." Andrea said bluntly. Gibbs winced at that comment.

"I never knew. I looked, believe me I looked for any cue from him but he seemed to hide more from me than anyone else. Had I known he would have never been with that bastard and he'd be in my arms instead of in the ground." He broke down again.

Andrea watched for a moment her own tears falling silently. "It hurts to hurt someone you love Jethro Gibbs." She said softly. "Tony was always sure you knew that." Gibbs looked astounded and then nodded. "I can't take this pain I thought it hurt before but now I feel like I'm dying. He should have been with me!"

"Yes. He should have." Andrea looked at him. "I always told him that it was up to him to make the move. I knew you never would. Then this stuff with Seth. Calum, my husband and I did everything we could. We never dreamed it had got this bad."

Gibbs admired Tony's friend watching her. She was a picture of strength obviously in pain but grieving with a quiet dignity Gibbs would never accomplish, at least not now.

"Why are you here?" Gibbs said looking at Andrea. "The service was hours ago." "I knew you'd turn up." Andrea said with a certainty that shocked Gibbs. "Tony spoke a lot about you and though you seem to live up to, what did Tony call it? Second B is for Bastard,"

Here Gibbs had to smile, it had been Tony that had first said that on the first case they had ever worked and it had stuck. God, he'd been gone even then. How had he not realised?

Probably because it had become such a comfortable thing that he hadn't noticed it until it was too late.

"You care about your people." Andrea finished. "And though Tony often doubted it I knew you cared about him. I saw you in the hospital and I knew you'd find who did it. I knew you would."

Gibbs thought back to the nurse he had seen in the hospital. Andrea nodded and said, "Yeah. I'm a nurse in the ER part time the rest of the time I work in the Oldman's children's home. Calum and I run it and there have been times we'd have just never coped without Tony. Particularly at Christmas Tony is a star." She winced. "Was. He always brought presents and spent Christmas day with us before going to your NCIS gathering at what's that Doctor's name? Ducky is it?"

Gibbs had just found out about Tony in the last five minutes than he had known in almost twelve years of knowing Tony. He'd never known what Tony did with his holiday if he wasn't working and Gibbs had never been into private life so he had never asked.

He hadn't thought Tony would want to deal with kids but it was just another skin that made up Tony DiNozzo and Gibbs shouldn't have been surprised Tony had away with people no matter how old they were.

Andrea looked at Gibbs. "Thank-you for catching the person that hurt Tony Jethro Gibbs. I will never forget it and I don't think Tony will wherever he is." She smiled through her tears. "I have no doubt that wherever he is he'll wait for you. A love like yours does not die when a person leaves you."

She stood and Gibbs followed her lead. "Look there was a reason I waited for you." "And why was that?" Gibbs asked softly. "Tony loved you." Andrea said seriously. "I think it's only fair that I give you this. I think you'll appreciate it more." She offered Gibbs the flag. The flag that would have been laid across Tony's coffin.

Gibbs took it with shaking hands his grief barely contained. "And this." Andrea passed him a neck chain. Gibbs recognised it immediately Tony had been wearing it the night he died.

It was a St. Michael's Medal. "It's the patron saint of Police Officers." Andrea said softly. "I bought him that when he was in Baltimore. He's been in so many near misses I wanted something to protect him when I couldn't. Even if it was only a symbol. He always told me that if anything happened to him he wanted me to give it to you. But well I think I need you need it more than me now."

Gibbs couldn't breathe. She placed it over his head. "May it give you peace." Then she turned and walked down the bank. "Jethro?" She called as she turned back. "yeah?" Gibbs said unable to stop touching the medal that had once been Tony's.

"Look after that medal. And look after yourself. It is something Tony would have wanted. You safe. And if you're ever near there, the kids always want a new friend. They'd love to hear about Tony." Then she turned and left.

Gibbs turned the sliver disc in his hands. It was well made and smooth and beautiful and a piece of Tony. Gibbs felt his heartbreak over again. He tucked the medal into his shirt as he pulled something else out.

Gibbs had never taken his dog tags. They'd always become something of a lucky charm, almost like a symbol of protection against the evil he made a habit fighting everyday. He looked down at them, they'd been with him for almost all of his life but now, well now he knew a better place for them.

He took them off and buried them in the earth. "These are for you. My heart goes where you are."

He stood up. "I love you Tony."

There was a sharp blast of cold wind that sent a chill right through him but then he almost gasped when he felt arms around him.

"_I love you too Jethro."_ Tony's voice sent a shiver down his spine. He wanted to turn round but didn't dare, he was too used to the harsh realities of life and he didn't want to return there, even if it was only for a minute. He didn't want to be sceptical. For a moment he wanted to believe.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gibbs whispered. "_Don't feel guilty for something you couldn't have changed." _Tony whispered. Gibbs shook his head. "That doesn't make it easier." Gibbs whispered. "We could have been together. We should have."

Gibbs felt the tears falling down his face. "Sorry Tony, God I'm so sorry I never told you. I never told you any of what I wanted to say…"

"_Jethro," _Tony's voice was like a caress across his cheek. _"All that matters is I love you. And I'll be waiting for you. Always."_

Gibbs couldn't take it anymore he spun round and there across the path stood a figure smiling at him. The figure waved at him and Gibbs could almost see that rare smile. The one Gibbs would give his left arm to see.

"_I'll be watching you."_

Tony took a step towards him and the weak sunlight caught something shining around his neck. Gibbs' heart leapt as he realised that Tony had the Dog Tags. He had Gibbs' last gift. Gibbs gripped the medal through his shirt.

Then he made a fist on his chest and then pointed at Tony. It was a rough sign for I love you but it didn't matter. Tony smiled.

"_Go now Gibbs and don't feel guilty. You have no need you couldn't have known." _Then Tony was gone but the sun seemed to wink at him. Gibbs turned and left the cemetery his heart lighter than it had been in weeks.

The pain of losing Tony would never truly go away he knew that but he also knew that he couldn't dishonour Tony's memory by not living what life he had left.

His encounter with Tony may not have been real but it had felt real but as he left the cemetery and the biting wind closed in around him, he felt his heart soar. He had never told Tony in life, but he had told him in death and there would be a day when he could truly tell Tony how he felt, one day he would be with him but now he knew it wasn't his time.

At least not yet.

Gibbs left the graveyard and retuned to his Family, a dysfunctional family that accepted him with his quirks and faults and in the sky a star winked down at him waiting for the day he would see him again.

Gibbs may not have told Tony but he knew and anyway, there was plenty of time for that. He had forever.

And for him, Tony would wait forever.

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Okay so that was another sickenly sweet bit but i thought they deserved a little bit of happiness and since nearly all of you wanted another chapter there will be one more. So stay tuned... Chapter Seven the final chapter coming to a computer near you very soon xx 


	7. Chapter 7: Precious Things

Okay Guys first of All I have to say how sorry I am that this is soo late. I've had so many assignments over the last few months to write and then this chapter just kept getting longer and longer as Tony and Gibbs refused to behave themselves lol. But it's here. The last chapter of Christmas Wish.

**Disclaimer: **Oh come on.. I wish... One day I'll buy Tony when he sells himself into slavery.

**Reviewers: **

**Super Em: **Thanx for the review! Here is the next chapter!

**Rosebud26: **Thanx for the review! Here is the next chapter... Thanx for waiting soo patiently I know it took longer than I wanted it too.

**SparklingCatsEye: **Thanx for the review! Here is the next chapter! Pleased you enjoyed the last chapter!

**M Chette: **Thanx for the review! After your long wait here it is Chapter 7!

**Don't Touch: **Thanx for the review! Don't worry it didn't really happen! I swear lol. Here is the last chapter I hope you like.

And so guys we're here. The seventh and final part of Christmas Wish... I hope you enjoy!

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Christmas Wish

Chapter Seven: Precious Things

Gibbs looked over his computer at his team. It was Christmas Eve and provided there wasn't a case, having just wrapped one up earlier in the day Gibbs planned to let them go early. He had his own plans. He smiled secretly as he thought of this and his eyes immediately sought his lover Tony DiNozzo.

Tony looked to be focused working hard but Gibbs would bet that he was doing anything but. He'd handed his report in and all the team seemed to be winding down. Gibbs was willing to let it go. It was Christmas Eve and he didn't want to be here any later than he had to be either. Although there was only Tony that was aware of that.

As though Tony felt him watching he looked up and flashed that smile. The one that made Gibbs melt inside, the one that he knew was meant just for him. Tony inclined his head letting Gibbs know he wanted to speak to him. Gibbs stood abruptly and said, "DiNozzo we're going to see Abby." The commentary wasn't particularly needed since the office was almost empty. Ziva had gone to speak to Jen, McGee was already in the lab and Ducky was in autopsy with Jimmy. Still better safe than sorry.

Tony grinned and nodded before following Gibbs to the elevator once they were in there Gibbs stopped the elevator and looked at Tony. "Hey." He smiled. Tony smiled again and said, "Hey back." "You wanted something?" Jethro asked. "I wanted to know if you're coming with me tomorrow." Tony said leaning back against the elevator.

"I think Andrea would shoot me if I didn't." Gibbs smiled.

After Tony and Gibbs had started their relationship he'd seen a lot more of Andrea and Calum Costa. He'd found out that Andrea was also a part-time nurse in the ER and Calum was a qualified paediatrician, which gave him the ability to look after the kids. He was also one of Tony's frat brothers. One of four that Tony still kept in close contact with.

He liked spending time with the kids one or two of the girls reminding him of Kelly. He still hadn't shared that with Tony, about his first wife and the daughter he had had. He knew that eventually he was going to have to spill. Tony knew there was something but he hadn't pushed and for that Gibbs was more thankful than he could say.

After they had left the Children's home that fateful Christmas Day almost a year ago Tony had dragged him to Ducky's where, though they were shocked, he was accepted with open arms. Tony and Jethro had decided to keep their relationship secret for the moment; it was all too new and too fragile to deal with the pressure. Now though they were on the brink of their one year anniversary and still no one at work knew.

In fact apart from Andrea and Calum and Jake another of Tony's frat brothers that lived in Baltimore no one knew of their relationship. Gibbs began to wonder if that was still right but he was still wary, gay relationships were not known to be tolerated in the Navy, and NCIS was close enough to the Navy to cause concern.

Besides he wouldn't risk that Tony that way. He wanted Tony safe. He faced enough dangers on cases without adding new ones.

"Hey,"

Tony said pulling him from his thoughts by putting a hand on his arm. "Where did you go Jethro?" he said softly. "Not sure." Jethro said truthfully. "Just thinking."

"A little loudly if you ask me." Tony smiled softly. "I'll come with you to Oldman's and to Ducky's but I think there's somewhere else we need to go after." Gibbs said quickly before he lost his nerve.

"Okay where?" Tony asked his green eyes curious. "I'd rather we just go otherwise I might find a way to get out of it."

Tony looked at him astonished. "I don't ever think I've heard you so reluctant before." Tony said softly he "accidentally" brushed his hand against Gibbs'. Gibbs took strength from that one small gesture and looked at Tony gratefully. "It's hard for me and it's something I need to tell you about but I'd rather just show you."

Tony looked at him a moment. "Okay." He said simply and that was the end of the discussion. Gibbs was always astonished at Tony's ability to know when to ask questions and when to leave it, particularly when it came to Gibbs himself but right now Gibbs had never been more thankful of it.

They arrived in Abby's lab to find her usual music replaced with Christmas Songs. Her and McGee seemed to be looking up something on the computer sharing the keyboard and speaking faster than Gibbs could keep up with it.

"Hey guys." Tony bounced into the lab. "Tony!" Abby launched herself at Tony and Tony laughed swinging her round. "You coming tomorrow?" She asked. "Of course. I'll be there later though." Abby smiled. "One day I'm going to find out where you go."

"But that would ruin my fun." Tony laughed. "You promise you'll be there though?" Abby asked. "Ziva's coming now." "I know. Yeah I'll be there." "What about you Gibbs?" Abby asked. "I think I could make an appearance." Gibbs said with a straight face.

"You better." Abby said pointing a finger at Gibbs. "Now you've made one you have too." Gibbs struggled to keep his face straight. "This is provided of course that we don't get a case." Abby waved her hand. "That goes without saying."

She smiled. "Tony's on call though." Tony himself laughed outright. Gibbs had to fight a smile again remembering his trip with Christmas Present and Abby's notion that because Tony did Christmas On Call they had yet to get a case.

He wasn't about to burst her bubble he kind of agreed with her. Besides he didn't want to have to work anymore than she did. Not his and Tony's first Christmas and their first anniversary he wanted it to be special.

He'd managed not to screw things up yet. When Tony's birthday had rolled round he'd made Tony dinner and bought him a replica Magnum Ferrari toy model car that he had discovered Tony collected. Tony had been so shocked and elated that Gibbs was pleased he'd gone to the trouble. It took so little to make Tony happy. It was a heady thing knowing Gibbs had caused that.

Gibbs' Birthday had come around and Gibbs hadn't expected anything. His birthdays had meant less and less to him as he had gotten older but he should have known better. Tony had made him appreciate birthdays again and his enthusiasm for celebration them was infectious.

Tony couldn't have thought of a better present if Gibbs had told him what to buy himself. It was obvious to anyone that knew Gibbs well enough that he loved boats, that he had an affinity with them but he hadn't expected Tony to organise for them to go out on a boat just like the one he was building as part of a weekend away along the coast of North Carolina.

It turned out Tony had a house there left to him by a cousin that seemed to have more regard for Tony than any of the other DiNozzo lot put together. Tony said he used the house as a get away when he needed it. That he was sharing it with Gibbs meant everything. As if that wasn't enough Tony had bought him a small replica of the boat they would be sailing on. That weekend had been one of the best times Gibbs had had in along time and that Tony had thought of it made it all the more special.

Now it was Christmas and he'd bought a present but it seemed somewhat dull and not to Tony's taste. He'd thought of it because it was personal to them both but the closer it got the more he was no longer sure he'd made the right choice. Although perhaps he was being a bit hard himself. He had liked it but the more he thought about it the less it seemed appropriate and he couldn't work out how to make it perfect.

He knew that Tony wouldn't care what he got it took so little to make Tony happy it was silly. He spent time in the lab speaking to his team and reassuring Ducky that he would make an appearance before looking at the clock and sending them all home.

Tony winked at Gibbs discreetly as he passes and mouthed. "Yours?" Gibbs just nodded and Tony smiled and walked away with the rest of the team. He caught Ducky looking at him with a soft, almost knowing look but said nothing. It wasn't just up to him to share their relationship and Gibbs was still wary of doing that.

"I will see you and Anthony tomorrow then Jethro." Ducky said lightly. "Yeah…" Gibbs said before catching himself. "Well obviously I can't speak for DiNozzo but I'll be there." Ducky just smiled. "I'll see you both at some point tomorrow then."

Before leaving the lab. Gibbs stared after him but decided he had nothing to worry about after all they'd been careful there was no way Ducky could know. It wasn't possible.

Gibbs didn't attempt to keep to the speed limit on the way back to his he needed to shower and change before Tony got there. Within a limited time he was washed and staring at his wardrobe wondering what to wear. There was no denying that his wardrobe had improved slightly over the last year, not through Tony's choice but through his own.

If Tony had had his way nothing would have changed. Tony had told him point blank that he thought Gibbs looked fine, more than fine in the clothes he wore and he looked even better without them. This honest appreciation for his form had Gibbs blushing, he'd been mortified he'd not blushed since he was a teenager. But then everything was different with Tony.

Gibbs had bought one or two dress shirts for occasions such as this when he wanted Tony's reaction and attention immediately. He'd also discovered Tony loved the feel of silk which was why three silk shirts now hung in his wardrobe. He pulled on a pair of black dress slacks and the blue silk shirt that was an icy colour making his eyes look even brighter than they were. He nodded at himself and walked out of the bedroom and in to the kitchen to begin preparing some snacks. He heard Tony's Mustang pull into the drive and he gave his reflection the once over just as Tony entered the house.

"Hey, anyone home?" Tony yelled.

"In here." Jethro replied. Tony walked into the kitchen and stopped dead. "Hey." Gibbs greeted with a smile. Tony didn't answer his eyes running up and down Gibbs' attire in such away it almost felt like caress. "Very nice." Tony said clearing his throat.

"You like then?" Gibbs smirked.

"Oh I more than like." Tony said his tone lustful. Gibbs took the opportunity to give Tony the once over. Tony had black jeans on and a green shirt that made his eyes stand out, he had a leather jacket over that. Gibbs was having trouble keeping his jaw off the floor. Tony looked good, very good.

"You clean up well Tony." His voice dropping as he stared. "I'm glad you approve." Tony smiled and then crossed the room and kissed Gibbs hard.

Gibbs smiled into the kiss and pulled Tony closer to him. "Can this stuff wait?" Tony asked against Gibbs' mouth. Gibbs nodded and then smiled as Tony pulled him towards the bedroom.

Later they were laid on the bed and Tony had his hand on Gibbs' chest his fingers playing with the dog tags. "I love these." Tony whispered. "Do you ever take them off?" Gibbs shook his head. "No. Not since the Corps gave them to me."

"They make you, you." Tony smiled. "Are you going to be okay tomorrow?" Tony asked suddenly. "What do you mean?" "I mean that I think wherever you want me to go tomorrow might hurt you and I don't ant you hurting. Not at Christmas."

Gibbs was touched by Tony's obvious care and said, "And I love you for that but it's something I've got to do. For me. I want too." Tony interlaced their hands and said, "Then I'll be with you every step of the way."

Nothing more was said on the matter and they did get round to eating that night… eventually. The next morning dawned and found Tony and Gibbs on the almost deserted roads of Washington DC at six in the morning so that they would be at Oldman's as the kids woke up.

"I haven't given you your present yet." Gibbs smiled as he drove. "We'll do that tonight. Just us." Tony smiled. Gibbs smiled thinking of the addition he had made to the present he had gotten Tony. Now he thought the present was perfect.

They arrived at Oldman's and Gibbs and Tony pulled the large pile of presents from the trunk of the car. "The kids are going to dive on us, you realise?" Gibbs asked good naturedly.

"Of course." Tony said shrugging. "That's part of the fun. You know that." Gibbs shook his head but said nothing against Tony's assessment. He loved playing with the kids and couldn't wait to see them with their presents.

The kids surged forward when Gibbs and Tony arrived and Tony immediately dropped the sack and dived into a play fight with five of the kids while Gibbs motioned to the remaining kids to collect their presents.

He smiled as Andrea and Calum hearing the commotion made by their arrival came over. "Nice of you to make it." Calum smirked. Before Calum joined his frat brother on the floor with the kids.

"I thought you had to work today." He said to Andrea. Smirking watching Calum and Tony roll around on the floor. "I did the Late shift yesterday and I'm on Nights tonight." Gibbs winced he knew perfectly well how crap working shifts could be."

"I choose it." Andrea said. "Yeah I'll be tired but I get to see the kids this way." "That makes up for everything." Gibbs said handing out gifts as the kids came up one by one and hugging each.

"Have you conquered your problem that we were discussing the last time I spoke to you?" Andrea asked slyly. Gibbs fought the urge not to blush. He'd mentioned to Andrea that Tony's present had seemed… not right.

"Yeah. Well I think I have. I only hope he likes it." Andrea smiled softly. "After being with him a year you'd have thought you would learn that you can do nothing wrong when it comes to Tony and presents."

Gibbs smiled. "I know but it's so hard to believe and regardless of the fact that he'll like it regardless of what I buy him I wanted it to mean something." "You'll be fine. You love him. For Tony that's enough."

Andrea hugged him. "The Dog Tags will be a good touch." She whispered. Gibbs gaped… "How?" "I can't feel them under your top." Andrea said simply. Gibbs nodded.

"Should we be jealous?" Calum's voice broke through their conversation and Andrea rolled her eyes. Gibbs looked at the boys and then at the sack and it appeared the kids at decided for the moment presents were more important and brightly coloured paper littered the floor. Laughter filled the air as the kids flew round the centre playing with their toys.

The older ones ran after the younger ones almost acting like damage control leaving the adults to talk. Gibbs watched them thinking of Kelly and shut that thought down quickly. It wasn't quickly enough for Tony not to notice but he smiled when Gibbs smiled.

"I think they're having a sordid affair." Tony said in a mock whisper to Calum but he and Calum's eyes were dancing with laughter.

"Are we now?" Andrea laughed, "Well when this baby is born with blonde hair and green eyes we'll soon see!" Andrea shot back and then her eyes went wide and her hand flew across her mouth.

Calum, Tony and Gibbs stared at Andrea before Calum surged forward and picked his wife up and swung her round. "Baby you're serious?" "Eight weeks." Andrea said. "I think it might be a little more than that." Calum's eyes were dancing. "This is the best Christmas ever." He whispered.

Tony hugged Andrea tightly. "You realise this baby will be spoilt don't you?" Andrea winced. "Yes. I do." She looked at Calum before saying, "Tony will you be God-Father?" Tony looked like he was foundering.

"You want me as Godfather?" He asked softly. "You idiot!" Calum said seriously. "Who else would I want?" "Of course I will." Tony said a truly beautiful smile gracing his features.

"Good." Andrea said.

The next couple of hours were spent playing with the kids and Tony coming up with the most stupid names for a kid he could imagine. "If it's a girl we're gonna have problems." Tony said.

"Dating and boys thinking their good enough…" "Oh god." Calum said looking ill. He looked at Gibbs. "You are in charge of making sure no one comes near my daughter. Bring your gun." Gibbs felt his heart lift being accepted as fully as he had been by Tony's friends that might as well have been his family.

"We might have a boy yet." Andrea said. "Then that will bring a whole new set of problems." Calum said. Andrea smiled. "I wanted to wait to tell you but…" Calum's smile was soft. "I'm pleased you told me when you did. I'm gonna be a dad. Oh hell I'm going be a dad."

Tony laughed. "Finally hitting you Calum?" "You need talk. You're gonna be right there with me." Tony didn't stop laughing. "I can give them back at the end though. Besides I'll have Gibbs. He's amazing with kids." Tony looked at his lover. "What do you say you willing to help me with our god-child?"

Gibbs gaped for a moment but then nodded. "Yeah, of course." Andrea looked at him. "That somehow makes me feel better. You and Tony, there will be no where safer for my child."

Gibbs had to look away a moment. Andrea trusted him with her child but how could he protect his friend's when he couldn't protect his own?

"Hey," Tony said softly. "Where did you go? Jethro come back to me." "Sorry just thinking." He said quietly. No one questioned him but Tony didn't let go of his hand.

Finally after many games with the kids and many drinks (Non-alcoholic in Andrea's case and Gibbs as he decided he needed to drive) Gibbs and Tony took their leave and made their way over to Ducky's an hour after they said they would be there.

Ducky opened the door with a knowing smile "Nice of you to join us." He said. "I'm always late." Tony announced. "And I dragged Gibbs with me since I didn't think he'd come otherwise."

Ducky nodded smiling. "Have it your way." He led the way into the kitchen and Gibbs was tackled by an over-excited Abby while Tony was drew into a conversation with Gerald.

"So how goes it with Gibbs?" He asked softly. Tony gaped. "I'm not sure I know what you're talking about Gerald." Tony said carefully. "It's not obvious but to those who know where to look it is. You're in love with him." Gerald stated.

Tony looked like a goldfish for a moment before he pulled himself together. "Yeah." He said softly. "Yeah I guess I am." "And he loves you back." Gerald said putting an arm around Tony's shoulders. "No one will hear it from me. But trust me I know what it's like to have an older stubborn lover. If you need anything let me know."

Tony followed Gerald's line of sight to where Gibbs was speaking to Ducky and he smiled. "So you finally did it? Thank-god. Any slower and you would have stopped." It was Gerald's turn to gape but he smiled and said, "You need talk!"

They laughed together and joined the others in the dining area helping Abby and McGee set out the table in time for lunch.

Over the other side of the room Ducky was having a similar chat to Gibbs. "I'm pleased you've found someone Jethro. You deserve it. He deserves it." Gibbs couldn't help but look at Tony who was having a conversation with Gerald.

"I'm happy with him Duck. I love him. He makes me happier than I ever thought was possible." Ducky smiled. "That is one thing I am pleased to hear. So how long have you kept this quiet?"

"It's a year today." Gibbs said proudly. Ducky looked shocked for the first time. "A year? I never expected it to be that long. Six months perhaps. I knew you loved him for longer. Congratulations Jethro."

Jethro couldn't help but smile. "I hope you've taken your own advice." He said softly. Ducky laughed. "Yes Jethro. I took it a little sooner than you though. February will be the third year for Gerald and I."

Gibbs nodded. "Come we must join the fray otherwise the others will wonder what happened to us." Gibbs followed Ducky in time to see Abby tackle Tony to the floor while Ziva and McGee laughed.

Jimmy and Michelle looked amused and Gerald simply carried on ignoring everything that was going on around him. They all exchanged presents and it seemed to escape everyone's notice that Tony and Gibbs did not exchange presents.

Gibbs enjoyed seeing Tony's face light up every time he opened the paper he received a picture of a red Ferrari from McGee. "To go with the model on your desk." He said. Tony nodded. Ziva got him a bottle of alcohol and chocolate, Jimmy and Michelle had got him alcohol and a cannon full of confetti that had made his eyes light up and Ducky had warned him that if he let it off in the house he'd have his physical early.

Abby had smirked as she had handed over a year's subscription to Tony's favourite magazine, Gerald had given him a pirate ship and Ducky had complimented that with a miniature version of Captain Jack Sparrow which had Tony laugh out loud.

Gibbs received alcohol from Ziva, Michelle, Jimmy and McGee, a wood working kit from Ducky, and two different books on different boats from Abby and Gerald. He was touched that they had obviously made the effort to find something they knew he liked.

Later Tony took Gibbs aside and said, "I want to tell them Jethro." He said softly. "Gerald and Ducky know and they were okay. Abby already knows I'm not as straight as I pretend to be. I'm not saying now but I want them to know."

"I know I was thinking about it too. We'll tell them maybe not today but defiantly soon. If the opportunity presents it's self well then do it but there's no rush, we've got all the time in the world." To which Tony's face lit up and Gibbs felt warm inside.

As it happened one other person did find out about Tony and Gibbs that day and that person was Abby Scuito.

She and Tony were sat out in Ducky's garden chattering away as the clouds rolled in signalling that snow may just be on the horizon. "So it seems that you and McGee maybe taking a turn towards permanent." Tony said conversationally.

"Well I don't know about that." Abby said. "But I do enjoy spending time with him. For definite." Tony smiled. "He's good for you Abbs and you're good for him." Abby smiled. "That I do know." She put her head on his shoulder and said, "What about you? You haven't got another sorry excuse for a boyfriend have you?"

"Abby!" Tony said in shock. "Oh come on your track record in either men or women isn't fantastic." "It wasn't." Tony allowed.

"Wasn't." Abby said picking up on the past tense almost immediately. "Wasn't." Tony allowed.

"Tony you sneaky thing!" Abby said hitting him in the shoulder. "I want details and I want them now!" "Been seeing someone." Tony said. "I wondered." Abby nodded. "You've toned down the flirting loads. You tend to do that when you're either eyeing someone up or seeing someone."

"So!" Abby said after a beat. "Come on! I want to know!" "He's been great Abby." Tony said looking at her his eyes wide and honest. "Been with him a year and as far as I'm concerned want to be with him from now… well this is it for me."

Abby stared and then smiled. "Oh Tony! You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Does he know you feel that way? Although you realise I have to meet him? I mean we need to know he's good enough for you." She hugged Tony to him.

Tony laughed as she started to speak faster the more excited she got. "Thanks Abbs. No he doesn't know I feel that way. I mean I've danced around the subject but I've never said outright. And as for meeting him, well you know him already." Tony said.

"I do?" Abby demanded. "Yeah you do." Tony said and his eyes sought Gibbs who was speaking to McGee who looked to be trying not to wilt.

"Gibbs?" Abby whispered. "You're with Gibbs?" Tony nodded not sure what to expect. Abby smiled slowly until it lit up her whole face. "Thank-God!" She said with feeling.

Tony looked at her. "What's that supposed to mean?" "Well you're in love with him and now I don't need to hurt him, I know Gibbs likes to be a bastard, but Tony he would never hurt you intentionally. And for him to be in a relationship with you he must be serious."

Tony had to agree. "Oh he's pissed me off loads but he's slowly learning what the word sorry means and is learning that while I might defer to him at work that won't work in our relationship."

Abby outright laughed then. "What?" Tony asked. "Tony your one of the only NCIS members that dare to go head to head with Gibbs on a regular basis stands to reason you'd not let him get away with shit in a relationship."

At that moment Gibbs came over looking at Tony. "She knows Jethro." Tony said softly. "I did wonder." Gibbs said discreetly brushing Tony's hand. "She kept looking at me with this expression like I was a fibre under one of her microscopes."

Abby got up and hugged Gibbs. "I'm happy for you." Then she lent forward and whispered, "I love you Gibbs but he's my brother you hurt him you die." Gibbs was insanely pleased Abby would protect Tony if anything happened to them. "Be happy to give you my gun Abbs." He said quietly.

They pulled away and smiled. Tony rolled his eyes and said, "quit talking about me when I'm right here. I'm going to challenge Probie to a game of cards. We'll see if he's improved any since the last game he played."

It turned out that Ziva was the real competitor and Gibbs watched in amusement as Ziva and Tony bantered over the terms while McGee and Gerald decided it had been safer to fold and Ducky looked amused from behind his cards. In the end though Tony won by a slim margin.

Ziva though not as quite a sore looser as Gibbs would have thought challenged Tony to a rematch which Tony gracefully allowed only to win again. Gibbs shook his head. The team should know better than to play with Tony. He was a master at odds and bets though Gibbs had not yet figured how he was quite so good at it.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a haze of food and chatter and it was well after 7 and dark by the time they left.

"Are you sure you want to go where we're going now?" Tony asked. Gibbs smiled. Neither had drank much apart from coffee because Gibbs was driving and Tony had somehow known he would need to be aware and that where he and Gibbs were going was important.

That didn't stop him looking confused when they stopped outside the cemetery. "What…" He asked softly. Gibbs put his fingers on Tony's mouth and said, "This is something I've got to do. It's important to me and I think you should know."

He got out of the car and Tony followed Gibbs led the way inside and Tony simply followed squeezing his hand.

Although Gibbs had not been to their graves since he had made sure their headstones looked right Gibbs knew the way by heart. He stopped beside Shannon's headstone and caressed the cool marble before looking at Tony.

"I've been wanting to tell you for ages but I didn't have the words. And I don't want to keep you in the dark anymore." Tony said nothing but he crouched down and looked at the stone.

"Shannon. Beautiful name. Was she your first?" Gibbs nodded swallowing the lump in his throat. "So four, not three?" Tony said caressing Gibbs' hand. Gibbs nodded again. "She was killed. Sniper shot. Her and Kelly…"

Tony looked up sharply. And then at the headstone next to it. Kelly's name stared at Gibbs and he watched as Tony stared at the headstone for a long minute before he stood up and pulled Jethro into a hard hug and said, "I'm so sorry Jethro." He said softly. "I am so sorry you had to know that pain."

And then Jethro felt himself cry. He finally let go and cried for the time he had lost with his wife and child and for the first time since that Christmas all that time ago he cried.

Tony said nothing just held him close and cried. Tony felt his heart break for the pain his lover was in and he felt tears prick his eyes he said nothing just held Jethro until the shaking stopped and Tony pulled away.

"Thank-you for telling me." He said softly. "We'll light a light for them both tomorrow so Kelly knows her Daddy's all right." He turned and looked down at the stone and knelt to caress the stone names. "Shannon, Kelly my name is Tony and I l…care about Jethro very much and I want you to know that I will keep him safe for you until you can see him again." He caressed the stone one more time before standing again. He looked at Jethro to see if the older had noticed his slip but he was looking at the graves of his family so Tony assumed not.

If Gibbs hadn't already been completely in love with Tony he would have fallen right then and there. "That's why you looked like a deer caught in headlights when I asked you about Calum and Andrea's baby." Tony said touching Gibbs' face softly.

"I couldn't keep my own daughter safe," Gibbs said his voice breaking, "What if I can't…" Tony put his fingers on Gibbs' mouth. "No one would ever blame you for what happened to Shannon and Kelly Jethro." He said softly. "Least of all them. We'll be together and we'll keep Andrea and Calum's baby out of trouble together. I'm here for you."

He squeezed Gibbs' hand and then said, "You've been open with me now it's my turn." He led Jethro three stones further along until the end of the row and squatted down and put his hand on the stone.

"Hey Cay, sorry I haven't been around for a while work has been crazy. I'll try and make sure I get here next time. There's someone I need you to meet. I'm sorry I never brought him around before."

He looked at Jethro. "Caleb this is Jethro." He squeezed Jethro's hand and Jethro squeezed it in return he could see how hard this was for Tony to share and could identify with the loss.

Jethro looked down at Caleb's inscription and stared. "You lost him 7 years today?" Gibbs asked. Tony nodded looking down. "It had a big impact on why I came to work for NCIS. I was in Baltimore at the time and well, I had a good impression of NCIS since Caleb was Navy. Chris Pacci was the Special Agent in charge of the case."

Gibbs stared at Tony. "That's why you knew about NCIS when I first met you?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah. Caleb was a good officer. He was older than me, but not by much. He was a Major in the Navy and his men loved him. There was one sergeant that hated him. How he found out about me I'm still not sure, my guess? He was looking for a way to get Caleb and from what Chris told me later hated that Caleb had something he wanted and he and his cronies attacked him about a block after Caleb left my place. They dumped him an alley. I was the responding detective."

Here Tony's voice broke and Gibbs pulled him into a hug. He couldn't stand that Tony was in so much pain. He understood that pain but really had no idea how he was going to make everything right again.

"Oh Tony." Gibbs whispered. Tony pulled away. "I wanted those bastards found and I wanted them to pay. Chris was great. He kept me in the loop but he wouldn't allow me to be part of the investigation and then when he told me he'd nailed them, well I can't explain the feeling."

Tony shook his head. "Then you came along and you offered me a job with the same agency. The agency that had caught my lover's killers. I wasn't about to say no."

"Chris was great, shocked to see me again but great and he kept my secret. And in return I helped his team when they came to a dead end. And then I paid him back fully when we caught his killer though I still felt sick to think I'd made out with them." Tony looked green at the thought.

Gibbs said nothing. No point revisiting the past. He'd chewed Tony out for that stunt at the time and he'd realised even at the time that Tony regretted it and now he had a greater understanding for why.

Gibbs knelt by the stone. "Caleb, I want you to know that I will take care of Tony and I would never let anything happen to him." Tony squeezed his hand. "I know you wouldn't Jethro."

He tugged at Gibbs' hand. "Come on. We'll come back again and next time I'll bring a belated Christmas present for Kelly." Jethro smiled despite the sadness he always felt when he thought of Shannon and Kelly but he knew he'd made the right decision sharing it with Tony.

They made their way back to the car in silence but it wasn't awkward. Tony threaded his fingers through Gibbs' on the gear stick and they drove back to Gibbs' house Gibbs feeling more at peace than he had for a long time.

They got back to the house and Tony led him into the living area. "I think now is a good time to give you your present." He said softly. He sat Gibbs down and caressed his face, "And if I didn't make it clear before, then I'm so honoured that you would share Shannon and Kelly's memory with me."

"You needed to know." Gibbs said gruffly. "No." Tony said softly. "I didn't but I thank-you anyway." He turned and passed Jethro a present wrapped in red paper.

Gibbs knelt down by the tree and passed Tony his present it was a square box with another attached a stalk comparison to the one Tony had given him which was long and thin.

"Go on open it." Tony enthused putting his aside for the moment. Gibbs knew Tony liked to watch him open his presents but Gibbs could also feel that Tony was a little nervous about what was inside the box.

Gibbs smiled softly and ripped the paper off to reveal a long black box he looked at Tony who looked uncharacteristically shy and wasn't meeting Gibbs' gaze when Gibbs' eyed the box before opening it.

His eyes widened when he realised what was inside. "Tony…Is this?" Tony looked up his eyes wide and unsure but his smile was unguarded. "Yeah. It's a St. Michael's Medal. The Patron Saint of Battle Officers and Police Officers."

Tony lent forward and took Gibbs' hand. "The patron saint of Marines." "Like yours." Jethro said softly. He lent forward and traced the place in the hollow of Tony's neck where Tony's own medal sat.

"Yeah." Tony looked at Gibbs and squeezed his hand. We've had so many near misses this year I wanted you to know how thankful we are we're together. I wanted something to show that I cared and…" Tony trailed off unsure how to phrase what he wanted to say.

They'd danced round the subject of love in the year they'd been together but Tony for all his success with people found it difficult to say the things that mattered most, to the people that mattered most to him. He'd managed to communicate how he felt about Gibbs so far but he hadn't gone as far to say the words yet.

Tony took a deep breath and then looked at Gibbs and said, "Andrea gave me the idea. She got me mine when I was in Baltimore because she said that I had a habit of getting into trouble." He smiled briefly, "And she wanted to get me something to protect me when she couldn't, even if it was just a symbol." He smiled.

"I wanted that for you. You have an annoying habit of going off without backup and I wanted you to have something for backup, to know that I always have your six when if I'm not right beside you."

Gibbs was speechless. He thought Tony couldn't have outdone himself before but he should have known by now not to underestimate the power of Tony DiNozzo.

"Tony, I…" Gibbs was truly lost for words how could he begin to describe what this meant to him. Tony looked at him and smiled and it told Gibbs that Tony knew everything he needed to know. He picked the medal out of its box and trailed his fingers over it realising with a start that there was an inscription on the back.

He turned it and looked at the inscription and was surprised to see it was in Russian. "For your eyes only." Tony said smiling. Gibbs read and looked up at Tony.

Gibbs looked down and stared the inscription read, "I've got you." Simple but Gibbs understood the sentiment it was more than he could have asked. He felt his heart swell with love for Tony DiNozzo. He looked at his lover.

"Thank-you."

He pulled the medal over his head and pulled Tony to him and kissed him hungrily before releasing him. Tony smiled looking dazed. "I'm pleased you like it." Tony said softly. "I just hope you don't mind wearing it with your Dog tags."

Gibbs smiled softly thinking that really wouldn't have that problem anymore but he'd already worked out a way for Tony to wear both all the time.

Gibbs looked at Tony. "I more than like it, Tony." He caressed Tony's face again and then drew back and handed Tony his present. "This is for you." Tony smiled and his eyes lit up reminding Gibbs why busying presents for Tony was such a damn pleasure.

Tony ripped the paper off the first half of his present and his eyes went wide. "Jethro…" He said softly. "I know it's not really you…" Jethro was cut off when Tony's fingers touched his lips. "It's from you. And I love it." Tony's eyes sparked as he looked down at the miniature replica of the boat Gibbs was building in his basement. It's beautiful." Gibbs smiled relieved that he had done something right.

"And the other one!" Gibbs said feigning excitement, when in actual fact he was terrified. This part of the present was the most important to him, it was a piece of him and he hoped that by giving them to Tony, Tony would begin to understand how much he actually meant to Gibbs.

Tony ripped off the paper and looked at the small black box. "Interesting." He said softly, his eyes twinkling. The box opened and Tony's eyes went wide. He looked up at Gibbs as if he was mistaking what he was seeing. Gibbs took that as his cue.

"It's to remind you that even when I'm a bastard that you have a part of me and I'll always come back to you. Never believe that I don't love you Tony. Because I do. I love you."

Tony stared at Gibbs and then his face transformed into a blinding smile that Gibbs would have given his left hand to see again. "Wow." He whispered. He pulled Gibbs' Dog Tags out of the box and ran his hand over them. "This is the best gift I've ever gotten." He whispered.

He lent over and kissed Gibbs softly before sitting back again. "I've made sure there's space for your medal on the chain." Gibbs said softly. "I know how much that medal means to you." "Jethro, thank-you." Tony said softly.

"I love you." Gibbs' face lit up. "I love you too Tony." He said softly pulling his lover into a kiss.

Over the other side of the room Shannon Gibbs watched as Tony and Gibbs spent what was left of their Christmas together and couldn't help but feel like there had been a weight lifted from her heart. She had known that she was loved in life and Jethro was the best father Kelly could have asked for but, she had had enough. Seventeen years of watching him suffer and now he was at peace.

She would always love him but she also knew that Tony DiNozzo was worthy of Gibbs' love and what was more important returned it with abandon. She felt the air shift and smiled as her friend and conspirator joined her.

"Did we get the desired effect?" Navy Major Caleb Thomas asked smiling at his friend. "I think so." "Well thank-god for that!" Caleb said throwing his hands up in the air. "Tony swore he would love me and move on I thought we were going to have to get more drastic than sending the Spirits last year."

Shannon smiled. "No. they took the plunge. And they're happy. I can't ask for more than that. My heart will rest happy knowing Jethro won't live the rest of his life alone."

"And I can stop worrying about Tony thinking he was never going to let anyone close enough to love him the way he deserves."

"Daddy's okay now mom?" An eight year old Kelly Gibbs asked softly tugging on her mother's hand. "Yeah, sweetie Daddy's okay now." "Will Tony look after him?" She asked watching her dad. "Yeah sweetheart Tony will look after him."

Kelly spun in the shadows left from the fairy lights on the tree Tony had persuaded Gibbs to put up. The light danced over her form and made the lights fragment like light hitting a disco ball. "Pretty. My gift to you and Tony Daddy."

Gibbs looked up as though he had heard a voice and stared. "Merry Christmas Daddy." Kelly giggled. "We love you."

Gibbs looked and whispered, "Oh God." Tony looked up and smiled softly. "Caleb."

"Look after each other." Shannon's voice echoed round the room. "Otherwise we won't even think to interfere again." Caleb's laugh echoed round the room and lifted a weight Tony hadn't even realised was on his heart.

"I love you Tony." He whispered. Caleb turned and looked at Gibbs. "You look after him." Gibbs nodded, "Always." He squeezed Tony's hand. "And you look after them." Caleb nodded smiling at Shannon and Kelly. "Of course."

"Merry Christmas Daddy. Tony look after my Daddy for me. We'll see you soon. But not yet." She spun again and said, "But Daddy remember not yet." Then they were gone.

Tony looked at Jethro and said, "They're happy and they're free it's time for you to let go." Gibbs looked at Tony. "Caleb is free Tony." Tony smiled his smile bright and his eyes bright with unshed tears. "I know and that gives me more peace than I can describe."

"I love you." Gibbs whispered. "I know." Tony smiled. "I love you too. Merry Christmas Jethro." They kissed softly a promise for the future yet to be seen.

Outside three stars burned just that bit brighter for the loved ones they had left behind and would see again… one day.

But not yet.

Not yet.

* * *

And thats it... This is the end.

Thanx to everyone who reviewed I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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